Penile numbness and no orgasm

[iknew07]

My boyfriend and I have recently started sexual activities. He has never masturbated. Every time I give him handjobs, his penis goes numb after a few minutes, and I am not able to give him an orgasm. The numbness goes after a bit but it keeps coming back. I’ve asked him about it but he says that it feels good when I give him handjobs, and if he wants me to change my technique I comply so he does let me know when it feels good and what i can do. But he has never came. What can I do?

[char]

Hello iknew07, welcome to the boards

The best thing you and him can do is to continue exploring ways to make everyone feel good. It's nice that both of you are already communicating your needs and preferences. Aside from listening to and following what he asks you to do, it might be helpful to let him know how you feel when giving him manual sex. Just because you're not the one receiving the sexual action, it doesn't mean you don't get to have a say in how things are going. We've had someone come to us with a similar issue in this advice column (https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... d-about-it), and I think this quote puts it best:

Orgasms aren’t really something you make someone else have or give to them, and sometimes people can be really focused on orgasms as an end goal, or as proof of Good Sex, to an extent that blocks out other aspects of being sexual with a partner. I’d encourage you to think about sex as an experience with a goal of shared pleasure, no matter where you both end up, and not a mutual race to the Orgasm Finish Line. In the moment, are you both enjoying yourselves? Do you feel happy afterwards? If it starts to feel like a performance, or a referendum on your skill or worth as a sexual partner⁠, that’s something to look at a bit; it might mean you need to talk about some other issue in your relationship, or take a break from sex while you sort out how you’re feeling about yourself. Ideally, sex is something that partners do together, collaboratively, and not a thing one person is doing to the other or a way to prove their skill. If there’s any real skill that sex depends on, it’s the skill of communicating and listening openly and honestly with a partner.

Have you felt pressure from your boyfriend to make him orgasm, or does this feeling comes more from yourself? This can be a good point to bring up the next time you talk about sex with him.