masturbation feels overstimulating, can’t feel pleasure from it

[kitkatk8]

I just bought my first vibrator/rose toy per my pelvic floor therapist, as I have vaginismus and it is recommended to help with dilation. But it just feels overstimulating. I have never been able to feel pleasure yet, soI tried the rose toy in the shower and it just felt kind of odd. I definitely felt something but I wouldn’t describe it as a pleasurable feeling. It just felt like a lot. How can I start to feel pleasure? I have a sex drive but find difficulty physically showing arousal (although I mentally get aroused). I’ve tried using the faucet, playing with my clit, and the toy, and the only thing that makes me feel something is the faucet and rose toy. But it still doesn’t feel “pleasurable”, it just feels a lot and kind of overstimulating. What do I do? I really want to feel pleasure and my pt recommends it, but I haven’t been able to reach that point.