Privacy while living with parent(s)/family?
Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2026 9:27 am
Hello,
This is one of those things that I am not really sure if I am going to be able to completely alleviate until I can, well, move out and not live at home anymore, but that won't be happening for at least three years. Maybe I'm just seeking commiseration (that is kind of purposefully dramatic. I just... don't really know what to do about this, or if I can do anything).
My boyfriend and I have been physically intimate for about a month now, and just this week, after he returned from a trip (where we could not see each other for a week -- we usually see each other in-person about twice a week, because our schedules are quite different (for now), so we find our time together quite precious), we had sex while he was over for the evening.
I was maybe a bit too confident about being inconspicuous, because my mother has never heard us (or, said anything, which I now have reason to think that she would have if she did) while doing anything that, though not exactly sex, is of a very sexual nature. I thought we were being relatively quiet... apparently not, because yesterday my mother informed me that she heard us... across the house (though it is a small house) in the living room while she was watching TV...
She has no issues with me being sexually active, but, I am not really sure how to both get what I want and also establish not just a better level of privacy for me and my boyfriend, but also respect the privacy, boundaries, and needs of my mother and sister.
My mother said something about getting a noise machine (I need to ask her if this was a joke or not, I honestly have no clue) or "living in [her] headphones", which, might be a solution, but it feels a bit unfair (for her) to me, though of course I need to ask how she feels about that solution herself (I was a bit too mortified to continue the conversation when she initially mentioned it to me).
I am not really sure how to navigate this. I just hope that maybe someone who has more experience with this than me has some kind of creative solution.
This is one of those things that I am not really sure if I am going to be able to completely alleviate until I can, well, move out and not live at home anymore, but that won't be happening for at least three years. Maybe I'm just seeking commiseration (that is kind of purposefully dramatic. I just... don't really know what to do about this, or if I can do anything).
My boyfriend and I have been physically intimate for about a month now, and just this week, after he returned from a trip (where we could not see each other for a week -- we usually see each other in-person about twice a week, because our schedules are quite different (for now), so we find our time together quite precious), we had sex while he was over for the evening.
I was maybe a bit too confident about being inconspicuous, because my mother has never heard us (or, said anything, which I now have reason to think that she would have if she did) while doing anything that, though not exactly sex, is of a very sexual nature. I thought we were being relatively quiet... apparently not, because yesterday my mother informed me that she heard us... across the house (though it is a small house) in the living room while she was watching TV...
She has no issues with me being sexually active, but, I am not really sure how to both get what I want and also establish not just a better level of privacy for me and my boyfriend, but also respect the privacy, boundaries, and needs of my mother and sister.
My mother said something about getting a noise machine (I need to ask her if this was a joke or not, I honestly have no clue) or "living in [her] headphones", which, might be a solution, but it feels a bit unfair (for her) to me, though of course I need to ask how she feels about that solution herself (I was a bit too mortified to continue the conversation when she initially mentioned it to me).
I am not really sure how to navigate this. I just hope that maybe someone who has more experience with this than me has some kind of creative solution.