Privacy while living with parent(s)/family?

[ratherslowseal]

Hello,

This is one of those things that I am not really sure if I am going to be able to completely alleviate until I can, well, move out and not live at home anymore, but that won't be happening for at least three years. Maybe I'm just seeking commiseration (that is kind of purposefully dramatic. I just... don't really know what to do about this, or if I can do anything).

My boyfriend and I have been physically intimate for about a month now, and just this week, after he returned from a trip (where we could not see each other for a week -- we usually see each other in-person about twice a week, because our schedules are quite different (for now), so we find our time together quite precious), we had sex while he was over for the evening.

I was maybe a bit too confident about being inconspicuous, because my mother has never heard us (or, said anything, which I now have reason to think that she would have if she did) while doing anything that, though not exactly sex, is of a very sexual nature. I thought we were being relatively quiet... apparently not, because yesterday my mother informed me that she heard us... across the house (though it is a small house) in the living room while she was watching TV...

She has no issues with me being sexually active, but, I am not really sure how to both get what I want and also establish not just a better level of privacy for me and my boyfriend, but also respect the privacy, boundaries, and needs of my mother and sister.

My mother said something about getting a noise machine (I need to ask her if this was a joke or not, I honestly have no clue) or "living in [her] headphones", which, might be a solution, but it feels a bit unfair (for her) to me, though of course I need to ask how she feels about that solution herself (I was a bit too mortified to continue the conversation when she initially mentioned it to me).

I am not really sure how to navigate this. I just hope that maybe someone who has more experience with this than me has some kind of creative solution.

[Heather]

I understand how this can go!

Is this something that you feel able to ask your mother to sit down and talk with you about so you can come to some solutions together, or something where you don't feel comfortable or able to do that, and would rather just solve for it as best you can with things you do yourself and see how they work for you all?