fingering , pregnancy scare

[dani10872628]

16 days ago my partner and I indeed dryhumped, but he came in his underwear and sweatpants, not near me or my genitals AT ALL, but I touched the OUTSIDE of both his underwear and sweats with my fingers, the sweats felt wet but had NO visible sperm, same with underwear, I didn't see ANY visible sperm, but it might've still been warm, but my fingers felt cold and like, they were evaporating, maybe not fully (worst case scenario???) but, seconds after he finished, I touch the outside of both layers as I said, and fingered myself, I think I was in peak fertile window as it was 2-3 days before ovulation day, or expected ovulation day. but my cervix felt super low and hard at that time (I was able to touch it, or maybe it was muscle?? lets say it was the cervix, idk) and stayed that way, until 5 days ago (???). but tomorrow my period is due, and I still have some thickish watery completely clear discharge, but mostly dryness. but this random goop. help. i'm a virgin who's never had piv intercourse or anal or ejaculation of neither sperm or precum on me at all or near my lower body, and my partner always finishes in his clothes. I'm a bio female he's a bio male. again it wasn't like he came in my hand or I reached in his underwear and scooped semen and fingered myself with it. NOT AT ALL. I'm so worried sick. please help me

[Andy]

Hi there and welcome to the boards, dani!

I’m really sorry to hear you are so stressed about this. Hoping it helps to hear that even if what you touched really was semen and it really was around your ovulation, there would be no risk of pregnancy in the situation you described, as you can read here Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?.
Sperm cells are actually very fragile and they can’t get through clothing, survive outside or travel far enough in the vagina without the "acceleration" of ejaculation. More on that here: Who's Afraid of Sperm Cells?


Does hearing that and reading the resources help ease your worries?

[dani10872628]

it really was semen like he finished but it was IN the clothes in the underwear in the sweats but I did NOT reach into his pants but I fingered myself like asap after he came and I touched the outside and maybe my fingers weren't fully dry I am horrifically scared. I'm sorry everyone's told me its impossible I've been to Reddit but Google says like extremely low risk but I CANNOT take a chance and I feel so dumb I've been being safe (I am not having sex or intending to I am just extremely worrisome) I was only on my second opill pill that day and it hadn't taken 48 hour effect but what if my finger was wet? I couldn't see sperm? What if there was some shine on my finger? please tell me its not possible irl? my periods due tomorrow, and it'll be 17 days since the event. I intend on taking a clearblue early result digital tomorrow morning with first morning pee. should I wait for it to be 21 days to be definitive? do I have to test? what if my finger was wet with some shine? and the ejaculate was only seconds old? and I did this all really fast? please let me know. also I know it maybe couldn't reach anything but I did touch my cervix. Help?

[dani10872628]

is it no risk even if i fingered myself instantly after touching? both his underwear and sweats were wet with semen. i’m really scared. what if my finger was wet?

[Heather]

Hi there, Dani.

It sounds like you haven't yet taken some time to read through the links that Andy gave you, which answer these questions. For example, the answer to this question in the first link is one you will find under the manual sex section:

Level of STI risk: Low risk Infections at possible risk of: HPV, genital warts⁠, chlamydia, herpes simplex virus (HSV) 1 and/or 2, syphilis⁠ Level of pregnancy risk: No risk

Can you go ahead and read those links, and then circle back here if there's any part of them you don't understand or want to know more about?

Per pregnancy testing, you can go ahead and take that test now given the timing and rest assured the results will be accurate. It does sound like seeing that negative result might help you let this worry go.

[dani10872628]

i understand that manual sex has 0 pregnancy risk, but his underwear and sweats, that I touched the outside of, had sperm in them. he ejaculated, so i am really worried, because this all happened within seconds, and I know it was dumb of me, I fingered myself immediately or seconds after touching said sperm on the 2 layers, but I did not reach into his underwear or sweats. is it absolutely impossible to get pregnant from this in real life?

[Heather]

The thing is that all of his semen -- including the fluid the sperm cells arrive with -- is not going to be able to make it through two layers of clothing. And sperm cells, as we explain across the site, are incredibly delicate: they also will not be able to make it through two layers of fabric (did you know condoms were originally made of fabric?), and even if any did, their little tails they need to get to the cervix would get smooshed.

Again, it sounds like a pregnancy test will give you the peace of mind you're looking for. You might also find it by taking some breaths to calm down more first -- just because it's really hard to take in or retain information when we're panicking -- and then reading this, which explains, in detail, what is needed for pregnancy to actually occur Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide. That piece can explain to you, with more science, why semen and sperm can't do what they need to when there is fabric and such involved.

I also want to add that menstrual tracking apps can't reliably predict ovulation. We need more information for that, and then need to analyze that information over a good deal of time (about six months at a minimum). Since it sounds like part of what has you so scared is the certainty you were ovulating, I'd see if you can't let that go, too, since unless you do daily charting of cervical mucus, position, and/or basal temps and know how to analyze that data, that is just not likely something you could know with any certainty. <3

[dani10872628]

okay, so its impossible? for me to get pregnant from this? based on what on reading about 0 risk?

[dani10872628]

I touched both the outside of the underwear and the sweatpants he came in, I'm sorry I cant stop thinking about this I feel so crazy. like it felt wet. and my finger felt a little wet. I'm really worried.

[Heather]

I answered you again in your most recent post, here: viewtopic.php?t=15803