Fantasies clashing with values
Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2026 2:41 pm
(Sorry if I bring up something I shouldn’t, this is my first post)
For context, I’m 14 years old, and I’ve been watching porn as if they were YouTube videos since I was 5. Naturally, over the years, I got desensitized to it. The last time I remember being excited about porn was when I was around 9, and that’s also around the time I self learned what masturbation is. The kinds of videos I watched at an earlier age were very explicit, taboo fantasies I didn’t even know how to comprehend. I don’t watch them or want to anymore, and I would never, EVER act on any of them, nor do I have any impulses outside of my use of porn. I’m worried that at some point, my real values will start degrading along with my idealistic fantasies. I noticed recently I’ve started ‘modifying’ videos I watch using my imagination to make them darker, but I would never again watch videos centered around said fantasies the way I did before 9 years old.
My question is: How can I make sure I don’t fall deeper into this problematic use of porn? I’ve tried taking breaks, sometimes out of pure guilt, but my impulse to watch and masturbate wins every time. I usually masturbate to porn at least 3 times a day and I can feel it eating at me more and more
For context, I’m 14 years old, and I’ve been watching porn as if they were YouTube videos since I was 5. Naturally, over the years, I got desensitized to it. The last time I remember being excited about porn was when I was around 9, and that’s also around the time I self learned what masturbation is. The kinds of videos I watched at an earlier age were very explicit, taboo fantasies I didn’t even know how to comprehend. I don’t watch them or want to anymore, and I would never, EVER act on any of them, nor do I have any impulses outside of my use of porn. I’m worried that at some point, my real values will start degrading along with my idealistic fantasies. I noticed recently I’ve started ‘modifying’ videos I watch using my imagination to make them darker, but I would never again watch videos centered around said fantasies the way I did before 9 years old.
My question is: How can I make sure I don’t fall deeper into this problematic use of porn? I’ve tried taking breaks, sometimes out of pure guilt, but my impulse to watch and masturbate wins every time. I usually masturbate to porn at least 3 times a day and I can feel it eating at me more and more