Feeling horny but no orgasm(i think)

[tonytonymoni]

i am so horny but due to my little privacy i cant do much but when i am able masturbate i just after a bit of doing it i suddenly get super sensitive and feel like im about to pee so then i end up stopping and ive tried to keep going when i am sensitive but its just to intense and i cant keep going and then the feeling is gone and then im just horny all over again. But recently i masturbated and i got super sensitive and i kept going but nothing happened now im super unsatisfied and i keep masturnating but i keep peeing.(I always try to pee as much as i can before i masturbate but its like there some little thats left over that only comes up when i start feeling super good) all of this is starting to piss me off what should i do? and is this normal? cause i have read so many articles but they arent clearing up what im feeling

[Latha]

Hi there, Tonytonymoni!

I'm sorry the articles are not clearing things up for you, and I fully understand feeling frustrated that you are not finding any satisfaction from masturbation. Let's see if we can think through this.

Some urine during sex is not inherently a problem if it doesn't bother you, but reading your post, the first thing that stands out to me is that you might not be urinating when it feels like you are. The urethra is located in the same space as all the parts of the genitals that we associate with pleasure, like the the clitoris, the internal clitoris and the vagina. If you use the restroom before you masturbate, and you are only noticing a little urine, it is possible that pressure in these areas during masturbation is giving you the sensation that you associate with peeing, even if it isn't actually happening. Does that sound plausible to you?

[tonytonymoni]

That makes a lot of sense, so I think that might be it, and also, my clit is small, so I think I tend to rub closer to my urethra.

[amber]

Hi tonytonymoni, hope it is ok for me to jump in here!

As Latha suggested, it is very common to feel sensations that are similar to those when you need to pee while masturbating. You are right that the clitoris is close to other parts of our bodies, and that could be adding to what you are feeling. I wanted to let you know this isn't something to be worried about.

I do wonder if offering yourself breaks or even exploring other areas of your body to touch may help with that over powering sensation you are feeling. That way your body could get used to the feeling while not getting overwhelmed or making you feel uncomfortable.

How does any of that sound?

[tonytonymoni]

This sounds good, and I have been wanting to try other areas of my body, but I don't even know where to start. Could you give me some common places?

I've also started to feel very horny at school, and I try to calm myself down with breathing techniques, taking walks, and drinking water, but it doesn't work, and then it's stuck in my thoughts all day. Does that mean I'm pent-up or that I have low self-control, maybe??

[Heather]

There's really no such things as a common place, because ultimately, our whole bodies can be sexual organs, but there are some places on the body that are richer with sensory nerve endings than others -- for example, our lips, fingertips and toes have about the same number of sensory nerve endings as portions of our genitals do. Ultimately, though, what places we each find most pleasurable and satisfying with touch is going to be somewhat individual, based not just on physical variations that exist across people, but also things like memories of pleasure throughout our lives.

You can find out more about this here: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body.

To start exploring your whole body, you might try what's called "pleasure mapping," which is explained well in this article: https://www.wildflowerllc.com/awakening ... e-mapping/

[tonytonymoni]

Thank you so much. The second article helped me a lot, but im still a bit confused with the other question i have, whether im pent-up or have low self-control or something.

[Andy]

Hi tonytonymoni, I’m glad to hear the article Heather send was helpful!

As for your second question, unwanted arousal, physical or mental, is a lot more common than you might think. Especially around your age, when people experience a lot of changes in their bodies and minds, including more frequent or intense arousal, sexual thoughts, attraction or desire. So if you were wondering, there isn’t anything wrong or even unusual about that and doesn’t have to mean anything besides your body and mind are evolving.
Which of course doesn’t change anything about it perhaps being uncomfortable or annoying. The best advice we can give you around this is probably acknowledging the feelings/sensations and trying to distract yourself from them, which it sounds like you are already doing, rather than pushing them away. You can also try to think if there is something specific that might be leadind to them. We have this quite new article about the general topic of unwanted sexual arousal and maybe some of the thoughts in there might be helpful to read: Feeling Good When You're Feeling Bad: Dealing with Unwanted or Confusing Sexual Arousal

I also want to echo that no, experiencing unwanted/unexpected arousal has nothing to do with self-control, just like feeling an itch does not, they are just our autonomic nervous response. What we do and think about can affect those, as well as what is happening around and we can distract ourselves from them, but we can’t directly control them. Does that make sense?