Virginity

[SilverFalcon92]

Is it bad that I’m still a virgin at the age of 20 about to be 21 because why do people make it seem like it’s a bad thing to had little to no experience with sleeping with people. I feel like me telling a girl that I’m a virgin will make her turn off for some reason it’s like they want a hoe and somebody who haves a high body count. I don’t wanna rush into losing my virginity solely because of looking cool I wanna have sex with someone I like and I’m comfortable doing it with I’m not comfortable to just stick my penis into of any woman vagina especially doing it raw I don’t know how people able to do that I’m still of catching STD/STI hookup aren’t for me I’m not going to rush losing it but I am exited for that day to come I won’t lie.

[Anya]

Hey SilverFalcon92,

It's Anya again (we were talking in the text chat). I'm glad you decided to make a boards post! Hopefully here I can offer some more in-depth support around some of these anxieties for you.

Expanding on what we were chatting about before, I and everyone here share the belief that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not having had sex at this age. Sexual timelines look different for every person and like I mentioned beofre, increasingly recent studies have begun to show the average age for first sexual activiy being statistically much older than we might assume. The media has a way of performing sexuality like it's the end-all-be-all of maturing into an adult, or that even someone with sexual experience will be "better" than someone without, for future partners. The truth is, not only is everyone's timeline different, but everyone's body too. Sex can be an enjoyable activity for sure, but treating it like the threshold to coolness, maturity, or experience really isn't true to reality. Now I know that you know this, and do want it to be a comfortable, thoughtful experience, which I think is great, but I still want to share with you an article of ours on this difference: Magical Cups & Bloody Brides: Virginity In Context

Regarding the idea of unprotected sex and STI transmittion, this of course adds risk as you know, not to mention risk of pregnancy. For more info on this please visit: Can I Get Pregnant, Or Get Or Pass On An Sti From That?

If you're still feeling at all lonely in any of these feelings, I urge you to check out this article of ours that I've found very helpful in the past: It's Never Too Late To Start To Date

[SilverFalcon92]

Hey Anya I’m glad you was able to speak to me again I do agree with you saying that people make sex seems like a milestone or a accomplishment in life and I’m glad that we’re seeing people are actually losing it much later than we expected to lose your virginity and it’s sad that people will make fun at another person for being a virgin and yes I agree everyone timeline is different and people shouldn’t shame others for not losing it sooner because let’s be real most people are lying about their sexual experience anyways. And for STI it does add in risk and the risk of pregnancy too that’s why I wanna make sure me and the girl I’m doing with get tested first and have a conversation about it to make sure it is safe as possible. I do tend to feel lonely and I’ll check out the article you linked to me.

[Tara]

Let us know if you have any additional questions after reading the article Anya pointed you to, SilverFalcon.