Actual risk of some activities

[Lalla]

Hi, I've already posted here,I think once, over my fear of pregnancy. Since then I've talked about it to my therapist. She said that as long that there's no unprotected penetration there is absolutely no risk of pregnancy but this kinda clashes with what I read here that there is some risk with just genital external contact even without penetration. My bf and I never engage in unprotected penetration but sometimes he wants me to "straddle" him when we're both naked no condom on because he thinks there's no risk as long as he doesn't penetrate me or cums. (We don't worry about stds bc we're both tested) Is he right? Following what my therapist told me he is but my mind always goes back to what I read here and I'm scared that it could actually lead to pregnancy because of precum. I'm also kinda uncomfortable telling my therapist that I read here something that contradicts her because also another therapist and a gynecologist told me the same thing about there being no risk without penetration as long as there's no ejaculation. I just wanted to clear my confusion because I trust these professionals but I also trust this website.

[char]

Hi Lalla, welcome back!

I've just realized that I replied to you a few months ago. Yes, he's right--there's no risk of pregnancy if the two of you have direct genital-to-genital contact. Just be sure to use lube to make things smoother if you need them! I would also like to apologize that my response back then was not clear enough; we do our best to share medically accurate information, and I hope Becky's reply to you afterwards was helpful.

This is what an article of us has to say about frottage or tribbing, as you might have read on this article (Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?):

FROTTAGE OR TRIBBING: (when people are NOT wearing any clothing) Rubbing genitals directly together

Level of STI risk: Moderate to high risk (risks are much higher with the presence of body fluids, like ejaculate) Infections at possible risk of: chancroid, chlamydia, cytomegalovirus, gonorrhea, HBV, HCV, HSV-2, HIV, HPV, NGU, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), pubic lice, syphilis, trichomoniasis Level of pregnancy risk: Moderate risk (higher if one partner ejaculates unto the other’s genitals)

Note: Naked rubbing like this can be something people turn into intercourse, or something people consider they’re doing instead of intercourse with ideas like “just the tip,” or “just for a few seconds.” If any vaginal entry⁠ at all is involved, that is vaginal intercourse⁠, not this activity. If any genital entry into the anus is involved, that is anal intercourse⁠, not this activity.

As you can see, I responded by saying there is "minimum risk of pregnancy" because some people who do direct genital contact can end up doing vaginal/anal intercourse, and that no longer qualifies as merely direct genital contact. Nothing wrong if this happens, of course, but it's definitely something everyone involved has to keep in mind if they want to avoid pregnancy. If that never happened in your case, then there is no way you can become pregnant. Am I making sense?

[Lalla]

It's just that from that article and others like this one https://www.scarleteen.com/read/pregnan ... ncy-scared , it says that if there has been direct genital contact there is a significant risk almost as with intercourse and it is advised to take emergency contraception, it causes me confusion

[char]

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you referring to this section of the article?

SO IF:

(...)

If any or all of those things describe the situation you’re worried about, there probably WAS a real risk of pregnancy.

In the specific pointer that said "direct genital contact," it is followed by this:

Vaginal intercourse, where a penis is inside a vagina, is the kind of sex that MOST commonly results in a pregnancy. If a person with a penis ejaculated (came) into a vagina or directly onto a vulva, this is a high pregnancy risk; if they did not, it is much less likely.

We did not say that all direct genital contact will pose a risk of pregnancy. Not to mention that aside from that particular point, there's also another that we need to pay attention to:

Reliable methods of birth control were NOT used at all, or were not used properly in either or both of the above situations.

If you and your boyfriend have used other forms of birth control aside from condoms, then it shouldn't be an issue. Especially when the two of you are tested. I hope that makes sense ;;

[Lalla]

Ok I get it but we only use condoms during intercourse, I don't take any form of hormonal contraceptives

[Sofi]

Hi Lalla,

As you mentioned, our article states that direct genital-to-genital contact has a risk of pregnancy. That's true for several reasons and while the biggest risk is when it leads to insertive sex, there's still also a small risk even if it doesn't. Some things would have to line up for a pregnancy to occur without insertion, such as you being at a certain time of your cycle (unfortunately it's really hard to accurately track a cycle, so we don't suggest relying on this), and sperm making its way into your vagina if he ejaculates while you're both naked and your genitals are touching.

So although it's not as high risk as if there was insertion (we don't like to use the term penetration as it sounds kind of aggressive and implies the vagina is a passive player here, just FYI!), there's still an existing risk any time you're having direct genital-to-genital contact. I'm sorry for the confusing info provided here, but I wanted to make it clear that there is indeed a small risk with this activity. I would suggest getting on birth control if that's possible to give you more peace of mind. Is that an option for you?

This article explains in depth how pregnancy happens, so it might be pretty helpful to read it through to understand what can lead to pregnancy and can't. Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide
If in doubt, the articles on our site are all accurate and correct, and we revise and update them often so they're up to date as well. Again, sorry for the confusing information given previously, but rest assured you can trust the articles on our site. Please also let me know if you have more questions about this, I'm happy to keep talking about it so you feel comfortable with the information and know your risks. <3

[Lalla]

Thank you so much for explaining! And sorry for using the wrong terminology. So if I understand correctly there's a risk with genital to genital contact only if he ejaculates?

[Heather]

Hi there, Lalla: that is most typically, almost exclusively, how people who become pregnant do, yes.

However, as explained in that article Sofi gave you to read, and Sofi said in her reply, we cannot say there is no risk only if he ejaculates, because in some cases- pre-ejaculate can contain sperm and thus can pose a risk, especially for people who are at a time of life where they are most fertile, which is generally the late teens through mid-twenties.

So, if you do not want to risk pregnancy at all, the easiest way to do this kind of activity that also leaves you very well protected from both pregnancy and STIs is just to have your boyfriend wear a condom, and use lubricant so things still feel slippery for you both.

[Lalla]

I understand, thank you for taking time to reply