Scarleteen

*ugh I would like to put this in the "sexual identity" category but it won't let me*

Okay, so I'm queer. I know I am, but it bugs me a bit that I do not have a more specific term. On my quest for a fitting category of "queer", I have come across more words for various sexualities than you could ever imagine.

Honestly, it annoys the crap out of me.

There are so many different words for either a) basically the same thing or b) so completely different from each other they shouldn't even be grouped together. Now I'm okay with people identifying as these things, I just wish that everyone would chillax for a moment and condense and specify what all these terms mean. By that I mean combining any two words that mean the same exact thing, and then giving it a solid definition that leaves no questions. The whole system is necessarily congested, in my opinion. Does this make me an awful person? I don't mean to be, but it's really confusing for a young person searching for potential answers to be smashed in the face with terms that require a lot of understanding of other levels of complicated gender identity/sexual orientation stuff in order to be processed. The abundance of terminology also puts pressure on people to find the one obscure word that defines them, which is often nearly impossible.

Am I a huge bigot for thinking that queer terminology could use some reorganizing? If I am, how can I try and get over it?

The thing about language, period -- not just for this -- is that we get to be as creative with it as we like, especially when using it to describe ourselves.

Too, when it comes to terms like this, the thing is that not everyone wants to be super-specific in their shorthand, or finds that shorthand is going to do that. Especially since, really, shorthand isn't about being specific, it's about giving a brief summary in a word or two for times when we're not in a situation or circumstance where we want to, can, or others are interested in all of our specifics.

Queer, in particular, was always meant to be a large, big-tent kind of term, one those of us who use it could use when our identities, experiences, relationships and attractions just don't really fit well into terms that are more narrow -- or we don't want them to -- or, again, when we're not looking to get specific.

I don't think any of this is about being a good or bad person, it's about figuring out what your own needs are when it comes to language for your orientation, and then figuring out what language works for you to best fit those needs.

Personally, I'd hope anyone, of any age, could recognize that no one should feel they need to ever define any part of themselves with but one word if they want more. If and when one word doesn't cut it, after all, it's not like anyone gets fined for each extra word they use to describe themselves.