Why can’t I feel pleasure when I masturbate

[Bananagirly]

I don’t know why I can’t feel anything when I masturbate my clit, I’ve tried rubbing it and I don’t feel anything. I try to fantasize stuff, but I just can’t feel anything and I also don’t get wet and I feel like nothing turns me on the only way I can feel something as if I lay flat down on my stomach, put like a blanket down there and rub up and down on that area. I want to be able to masturbate without doing that but rubbing my clit with my fingers doesn’t make me feel anything I also don’t know if endometriosis and pcos comes into play with this, as I have both. (That should go under health but I thought I should include that in this)

I’ve also tried using sex toys, like a dildo… and I don’t feel pleasure, I don’t “orgasm..”

What does pleasure feel like, what does an orgasm feel like?

I’m sorry if this is all over the place. I kinda just spit out what I needed to say!

[Latha]

Hi there, Bananagirly--welcome to the boards!

So, it sounds like you've tried clitoral stimulation along with a couple other sexual activities, and with one exception, you are not feeling any pleasure. We'd be happy to help you troubleshoot this, and see what you could try to feel good during sex.

To start, I'd like to clarify one thing: when you say that you don't feel anything, is it that you are not feeling any sensation of touch at all, or is it that you are not feeling any pleasurable sensations?

One thing that stands out to me in your post is that you've mentioned that you do not get wet, and that it feels like nothing turns you on. Sometimes, starting with physical stimulation can lead to physical and metal arousal, but in many cases, touching yourself when you are not already aroused and in the mood for sex won't feel all that different from touching any other part of your body. Sexual pleasure is a lot about what happens in your mind, so it might be a good idea to focus on exploring fantasies and activities that you enjoy and respond to as a starting point.

We have an article that could help with that: How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms. Would you look over it and let us know if it gives you any ideas?

It is possible that PCOS or endometriosis might be playing a role here: if you are experiencing pelvic pain, for example, that could get in the way of connecting to your body in a pleasurable way. Does that sound like it applies to you? Could you tell us a little about your symptoms?

I think I'm having a difficult time describing what pleasure feels like, beyond the idea that it is a sensation in your body that feels good, but I can answer your second question in a bit more detail. An orgasm is essentially a peak and release of the tension that builds up in your body during sex. Orgasms last just a few seconds, and are often accompanied by muscle the muscles in your pelvis and the rest of your body tensing and relaxing--similar to how you might feel after a workout. After an orgasm, people often feel more relaxed than they did before. Someone can have a lot of different kinds of orgasms--they can feel strong, and they might also be less noticeable.