Scarleteen

I’m 18. FTM and extremely confused of how I am supposed to know if I have finished or not. When Biological men orgasm, they usually ejaculate. Me never being able to do this gives me extreme disphoria, and probably doesn’t help my confusion. I’m also Autistic and have a very hard time understanding and being able to tell the difference between physical sensations. When people describe orgasms, they use very mystical language, and say it is like a release of sorts. But i’m not releasing anything. I recently started testosterone and my libido has shot through the roof. I’m almost never not girly and i’m finding no relief. I have always wondered if I have ever actually orgasmed or not, considering I can’t physically ejaculate, but now it’s actually making me worry. I have master-bated plenty, I have both a dildo and a vibrator, but i just don’t understand if i have ever done what others describe. I know it will never be what I want it to be on account of my genderdysphoria, but i’m so confused.

Hey there SnaqXx,

Welcome to the boards!

It seems like you're having trouble knowing if you are orgasming when you masturbate, and especially missing that feeling of physical ejaculation we see in cis men, causing you some dysphoria. So first, we're going to tackle some misconceptions about the processes of orgasm and ejaculation as relating to gender, and then we'll get to the knowing if and when aspect.

Generally speaking, we know that most everyone is capable orgasm, but lesser known fact, many of those people are also capable of ejaculation! Regardless of the genitals we are born with, ejaculation of fluids is not a totally uncommon occurance across the board during and after orgasm. It's not always a voluntary or achievable thing for everyone I must note, but here is an article of ours with more info on this!: Squirt: On Ejactulation

Now on the topic of learning more about how to identify orgasm in the first place, youre absolutely right in your mention of it often being talked about with loose, mythical even, terms; as if it's some magic event. This is largely because we are still doing a lot of learning about what orgasm is, how it functions, and how people individually experience it. For more info on orgasm and identification, consider these articles of ours: Sexual Response and Orgasm, and I Can't Orgasm Or Find The Right Places On My Anatomy