I’m scared :(

[Jollofriceater]

Hello! Okay, im a bit scared. My boyfriend and I were making out and his thing was out, so was my underwear. There was no pre-ejaculate and no ejaculate involved. I grinded on his shaft, far away from the tip, I even used my hands to cover the tip, so I know I’m far away. My period is in about 5 days, do I need to be worried? I’ve never had sex before, still a virgin

[Straif]

Hi Jollofriceater,
It sounds like what you're describing puts you at a very low risk of pregnancy. The only reason I can't tell you that it is a "zero" risk situation is that any direct penis to vagina contact without clothing or another barrier carries ::some:: risk (as well as being an STI risk). That said, I don't think you need to worry overmuch, even if your period is not 100 percent on time. If you are worried, you can take a pregnancy test IF you are at least 14 days out from the sexual contact that concerns you.

Even knowing how low your risk is, that your period is likely going to show up soon, and that you can take a pregnancy test if you're worried, you might still be feeling anxious or scared. It can be hard to be wait on answers to something that could have a major impact on your life, so be gentle with yourself. We have a series called The Pregnancy Panic Companion with more resources if that's helpful.


TLDR: I think you're going to be just fine, but I'm guessing you would like to avoid feeling this way in the future, yes? If so, you are VERY much in the right place! Since your questions and concerns are SUPER common, we've got a bunch of good articles about them.

Can I get Pregnant or Get or Pass an STI From That? is my favorite place to start, but you might also find Human Reproduction: A Seafarers Guide and Ready or Not: Sex Readiness Checklist helpful

[Jollofriceater]

Okay, I’m still scared tho. And I’ve been cramping recently, would that be pms? Sorry for these questions, I’m just nervous

[Latha]

Hi Jollofriceater!

It is okay to ask questions and be nervous. It is quite possible that the cramping you've noticed is because you'll have your period soon--cramping can happen for a number of reasons, and that is one. In case you were wondering, it isn't a sign of pregnancy that you would have to worry about.

Can you tell us a little more about what is making you feel scared? Straif talked about how the risk of pregnancy here is very low here, and he also talked about what you can do to confirm that: wait for your period or take a pregnancy test in 14 days. Does that seem doable?

[Jollofriceater]

I’m getting cramps and firmness on my boobs. But no blood. I think I’m just worried that it won’t come. This happened on Thursday the 16th, and i started getting “symptoms” the next day. Should I take a test?

[lilikoi]

Hi Jollofriceater,

Given that you are just starting to explore sex and intimacy, it could be good to use this experience as a practice in managing your worries about pregnancy. It sounds like you might be worrying to the point that you are not letting yourself receive the information we've written here so far.

You may take a test 14 days after sexual contact. It wont be accurate until about 2 weeks from sexual contact. In the links Straif and Latha provided, there's a ton of information about the symptoms you are describing and how to know if you do need to be worried about pregnancy. Periods can be irregular and the symptoms you have described could be just your body preparing to menstruate. Until you get your period or are able to take a pregnancy test, I highly recommend reading this article which explains the treacherous journey sperm go on before any fertilization can occur: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide