Scarleteen

Hi there. Can't believe I'm back here again, with less than a month ago with my last post. But I feel so desperate.
For about a month or so, I reminisced a lot about my past. Specifically on how happy I was back then. And how it wasn't like the present.
For context, I graduated from elementary last year (I'm in 7th now, which is the first year for middle school in my country). And I had a hard time adjusting. A really hard time. I'm better now, I'm okay with my life, but I don't feel entirely happy. As if my life can be more than what it is.
Whenever I think about my past, I feel like there were all dreams and fantasies. And I feel sad. Feel sad with how my life is now, and sad that I never will experience it again.
Obviously, I will find happiness again someday. Those times will be a small part of my life in the long run. But the fact that I don't know when that happens, and don't know what to look forward to. It's depressing.
I think what triggers this is me realizing that my graduation was almost a year ago. It made me feel as if I wasted my time. Because graduation didn't feel like a year ago, it felt like months ago. It felt like time flew by while I was trying my best to adjust.
I don't think this is the correct place for my problem, but I just feel so desperate. Any advice or any suggestion on how or where to help this, I would greatly appreciate.

Hi again, AceofHearts. I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time.

I suspect all of this feels depressing because you are, in fact, depressed. The time of life you are in can be really challenging: that shift from pre-teens to teens is a major one in a lot of ways -- especially when it feels like a shift from childhood to early adulthood -- and it sounds like you're putting a lot on yourself around it. Part of what tends to make it so challenging is that there is usually a lot going on hormonally, and that can trigger depression for a lot of people.

What's your access to healthcare like, in particular, mental healthcare? It sounds to me like you could really benefit from checking in with a mental healthcare provider and get some ongoing help. <3