Talking with partners about safer sex
Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 5:02 pm
When you find yourselves talking about being sexual with a new partner (or imagining those conversations, if you haven't gotten there yet with someone but are considering it), does safer sex come up at all? If & when you talk about birth control with partners, is condom use or STI testing part of that conversation?
If not, do you have a sense of why that might be?
Do STI transmission risks seem harder to talk about, or less pressing, than pregnancy risks?
I know that with my first sexual partner I just wasn't educated enough. I understood what STIs were & how they were transmitted but when he said "oh, I don't have any," I didn't follow that up by asking when his last test was, or what safer sex practices he was using with his previous partners. We used condoms for a while as a backup for birth control, but as I became more comfortable with my birth control method we stopped using them. I never had STI tests until a few years later, and certainly never while I was in that first sexual relationship. I was lucky, but I do wish I'd had more information and felt like I could speak up and ask that partner to go get tested with me.
For folks who haven't had safer sex talks with partners, can you think of anything that might make those conversations easier to have? We're always happy to help brainstorm ideas with y'all.
Here are some links about safer sex, condom use, and testing that might be helpful:
Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To
Condom Basics: A User's Manual
Testing, Testing...
If not, do you have a sense of why that might be?
Do STI transmission risks seem harder to talk about, or less pressing, than pregnancy risks?
I know that with my first sexual partner I just wasn't educated enough. I understood what STIs were & how they were transmitted but when he said "oh, I don't have any," I didn't follow that up by asking when his last test was, or what safer sex practices he was using with his previous partners. We used condoms for a while as a backup for birth control, but as I became more comfortable with my birth control method we stopped using them. I never had STI tests until a few years later, and certainly never while I was in that first sexual relationship. I was lucky, but I do wish I'd had more information and felt like I could speak up and ask that partner to go get tested with me.
For folks who haven't had safer sex talks with partners, can you think of anything that might make those conversations easier to have? We're always happy to help brainstorm ideas with y'all.
Here are some links about safer sex, condom use, and testing that might be helpful:
Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To
Condom Basics: A User's Manual
Testing, Testing...