Masturbation Help: Pelvic Floor Dysfunction and Death Grip Syndrome
Posted: Wed May 06, 2026 11:45 am
So I've been masturbating to porn for 5+ years. A lot. Hours and hours on end. Usually over 10 times a day. It messed up my sleep, going to school, used up all my time, and made me feel horrible. Recently, I would like to think I've gotten a lot better and have since cut back significantly, and have implemented strategies to not fall back in. However I've been doing it wrong the whole time. I've definitely treated masturbation as a race to get to orgasm as fast as possible and find porn that will help me do that. Whether it was just because that's what i thought felt good or because i wanted to hurry it up before my parents walked in. And I know that you people are all about how "there's so many ways to masturbate" and "there's no wrong way." But I've become very unhappy with how I masturbate. I've developed pretty bad death grip syndrome that has pretty much numbed me to the normal "up and down" piston motion of sex. Sex toys don't work and I don't use lube because i wouldn't be able to get a good grip. If its not my specific fingers in a specific spot with a specific pressure, I won't feel any stimulation.
On top of that, I realized i was only able to feel any stimulation in my penis if I was clenching my pelvic floor muscle. Now I know clenching is normal when one actually does orgasm (or the so called "twitching" of the penis), but I do before and throughout the whole session as that's the only way for me to feel any stimulation. This is arguably a much bigger problem than the death grip syndrome as I've been able to orgasm with a lighter grip with the up and down motion and I can even orgasm heads free with just the pelvic floor muscle, but that's just it. I can only do it with my pelvic floor clenched. I've never had an orgasm without clenching it and unclenching it the whole session.
I think the death grip syndrome has a simple fix. All I have to do is stop watching porn and stop using the high intensity motion. Use lighter and slower stimulation and after a few weeks it should get better. I hope. If you have any more ideas, I would be glad to hear them.
The pelvic floor situation is as I said, much trickier. I've noticed things like how in the morning when y'know morning erections happen (even though mine aren't full blown erections. All my penis does is get a little bit harder and I'm more aroused) its difficult to move my body and especially my legs without clenching the pelvic floor. When I'm peeing, urine will come out just fine, but I've always clenched my pelvic floor to get out the last stream of urine. Apparently that's not normal. Its also the same as the morning erections where after I got most of the pee out its hard to move my body without automatically clenching my pelvic floor muscle to get the rest of it out of my urethra.
I have already tried looking for solutions. Some people online (and my therapist) have told me to go see a doctor and more specifically a urologist or a pelvic floor physical therapist. I've been reluctant to because I'm too embarrassed, I don't think my parents would like it, and because I don't think its such a big problem that I would need to see a doctor. I've read of people with chronic pain or trouble peeing at all or having to pee 7 times in the night. Luckily, I don't have a problem that severe, so I don't think a doctor is necessary.
I know about all the exercises that are supposed to help like reverse Kegels, certain yoga poses like dead bug or child's pose, and breathing exercise as expanding your stomach as you breath in is supposed to relax your pelvic floor.
Do I just have to do those exercises daily in tandem with trying to masturbate slowly and softly without any porn or any clenching? While also trying to manually get my pee out by pushing behind my scrotum and just trying to shake the pee out without any pelvic floor clenching? And hopefully in a few weeks or months it will get better and I won't struggle with death grip or pelvic floor dysregulation.
Again, If you have any other ideas or if you could confirm that this is what I should do then that would be a big help. All this has caused me to feel some regret and grief. Sex isn't possible for me right now and I can barely maintain an erection. I feel pathetic and broken. Its very demasculating and I feel like less of a man.
Also should i post this on other message boards on this site (like the "ask us!", "bodies" or "sex & sexuality") to get a higher likelihood of a response. This is my first post here and I don't know how it works.
On top of that, I realized i was only able to feel any stimulation in my penis if I was clenching my pelvic floor muscle. Now I know clenching is normal when one actually does orgasm (or the so called "twitching" of the penis), but I do before and throughout the whole session as that's the only way for me to feel any stimulation. This is arguably a much bigger problem than the death grip syndrome as I've been able to orgasm with a lighter grip with the up and down motion and I can even orgasm heads free with just the pelvic floor muscle, but that's just it. I can only do it with my pelvic floor clenched. I've never had an orgasm without clenching it and unclenching it the whole session.
I think the death grip syndrome has a simple fix. All I have to do is stop watching porn and stop using the high intensity motion. Use lighter and slower stimulation and after a few weeks it should get better. I hope. If you have any more ideas, I would be glad to hear them.
The pelvic floor situation is as I said, much trickier. I've noticed things like how in the morning when y'know morning erections happen (even though mine aren't full blown erections. All my penis does is get a little bit harder and I'm more aroused) its difficult to move my body and especially my legs without clenching the pelvic floor. When I'm peeing, urine will come out just fine, but I've always clenched my pelvic floor to get out the last stream of urine. Apparently that's not normal. Its also the same as the morning erections where after I got most of the pee out its hard to move my body without automatically clenching my pelvic floor muscle to get the rest of it out of my urethra.
I have already tried looking for solutions. Some people online (and my therapist) have told me to go see a doctor and more specifically a urologist or a pelvic floor physical therapist. I've been reluctant to because I'm too embarrassed, I don't think my parents would like it, and because I don't think its such a big problem that I would need to see a doctor. I've read of people with chronic pain or trouble peeing at all or having to pee 7 times in the night. Luckily, I don't have a problem that severe, so I don't think a doctor is necessary.
I know about all the exercises that are supposed to help like reverse Kegels, certain yoga poses like dead bug or child's pose, and breathing exercise as expanding your stomach as you breath in is supposed to relax your pelvic floor.
Do I just have to do those exercises daily in tandem with trying to masturbate slowly and softly without any porn or any clenching? While also trying to manually get my pee out by pushing behind my scrotum and just trying to shake the pee out without any pelvic floor clenching? And hopefully in a few weeks or months it will get better and I won't struggle with death grip or pelvic floor dysregulation.
Again, If you have any other ideas or if you could confirm that this is what I should do then that would be a big help. All this has caused me to feel some regret and grief. Sex isn't possible for me right now and I can barely maintain an erection. I feel pathetic and broken. Its very demasculating and I feel like less of a man.
Also should i post this on other message boards on this site (like the "ask us!", "bodies" or "sex & sexuality") to get a higher likelihood of a response. This is my first post here and I don't know how it works.