Scarleteen

Hello again,
Im pretty sure ive asked a somewhat similar question here before but Im still a little confused so I apologize if Im asking the same question more than once.

Ive seen a lot of talk online from people who I am friends with about how consuming certain porn or having a certain kink (such as bdsm, age play, cnc) makes you a bad or dangerous person as you now likely to take that kink outside of porn and consensual sex.

Ive even read stuff from organizations like the NCOSE that pornography that includes acts such as strangulation makes men who watch it more likely to attempt to no consentually strangle their partner in bed. Is there any truth to this?

Ive also been told that doing stuff such as cnc or role-playing problematic power dynamics or incest is disrespectful to victims of the real thing.

Ill admit that I do have an interesting in something like role-playing a power fantasy that would be very problematic irl. If this stuff about being disrespectful and dangerous is correct is there a way to easily "get rid of" that kink?

My next question is a more uncomfortable but I have some friends who are into this kind of stuff, but are also into stuff like lolisho. Does that make them a legitimate danger to young people. If so is this stuff illegal (obviously that part may be tricky since there are no universal laws but in this case I mainly mean the United states) and should I report them to the police or something if that's true?

Finally I apologize if this reads weird I wrote this late at night while very tired

Hi Seraph. No need to apologize, I understand your post just fine

The belief that someone's sexual fantasies correlate with their behaviors in real life is a longstanding one, but also untrue. Not everyone with less common and taboo fantasies would want to incorporate them into consensual sex with others, and not every abuser has sexual fantasies that involve hurting others to begin with. Anyone who wants to incorporate certain fantasies into that sexual lives need to discuss it with their partner(s). The importance of consent is especially stressed out in healthy kink/BDSM communities, since some people may engage in activities that can be activating or triggering. Further, pornographic media may show things that are not just unrealistic but also dangerous, but it is ultimately up to its viewers what they would want to do with their fantasies. How we feel and engage with these scenarios can be healthy or unhealthy depending on our knowledge of how realistic and safe they are, and whether we have a debilitating level of anxiety and stress over these fantasies.

These articles can give you some ideas:
- I like fantasizing about it: would I like it for real?
- Is something wrong with me because I like BDSM? Can I like it and still be a feminist?
- Working the Kinks Out
- Breathe: Risks, Realities, and Safer Alternatives to Choking and Breath Play

It's also worth noting that NCOSE is a religion-based organization that's also campaigned against same-sex marriage; they're not sources we want to rely on for comprehensive, inclusive sexuality education.

Do these answer your questions?