Scarleteen

Hii, hellooo!

So, to say this in the easiest way possible.. I don't really feel anything when I masturbate, although when I do clit stimulation after a while i start to tense up and shake which does give me somewhat pleasure. But my main question is: Am I coming and how do I know if I am? I've searched the internet and heard that it's also possible that when coming that nothing really "comes out". Plus, I don't really feel any need to moan or make noise which, I've heard is also normal, but is it really? I just want to know how to masturbate properly, I've read how to, watched videos, asked people I trust, rubbed against my pillow and even tried a vibrator and with my shower head but somehow I feel nothing.
I just really need help understanding this problem of mine. I've read tons of things and nothing has helped..

Thanks to anyone who can help xx

Welcome to the boards, vaniallasparkle.

When you say you don't really feel anything, do you mean that what you feel doesn't meet your expectations of what you expected to feel? Or that it all just feels more meh or mid than you'd hoped? I ask because actually feeling nothing -- like, you touch yourself and wouldn't even know you are -- would be very unusual and point towards something like a neurological problem.

People with vulvas and vaginas don't ejaculate like people with penises do. Many can, but it's not generally something that happens all the time or without doing pretty specific things to make that happen, generally involving some kind of internal stimulation, not just stimulation of the external clitoris. So, that nothing came out of your body doesn't tell us anything about if you're experiencing orgasm or not. Whether or not people make noise also doesn't tell us much, especially since it's particularly common for people to be pretty quiet when they masturbate.

I am hearing you say that when you engage the external portions of your clitoris, you do feel things, and that continuing to do that increases the pleasure you feel and eventually results in muscle contractions that feel good. That sounds like a sexual response cycle ending in orgasm to me. If those orgasms don't feel particularly mid-blowing, there are probably a few reasons for that. One is that it's pretty common, when we first start learning to orgasm, for orgasms to be milder than they will be later on down the road once we've been exploring sexual pleasure for at least a few years (and sometimes longer than that). How sexually aroused we are also has a big influence on the intensity of how any kind of sex, including masturbation, feels and the intensity of orgasm: so, if you're coming to all of this feeling kind of blah instead of feeling really excited, that will also be in play.

If you also have expectations of ex/masturbation that aren't realistic, that is another issue. Again, I hear you saying you feel nothing in the same post where you're clearly describing feeling things -- that attitude alone, believe it or not, is probably also impacting how things feel. If we come to any kind of sex expecting to be disappointed, that can be self-fulfilling. IOW, if we start that way, our body will tend to act disappointed and mid, if you get what I mean.

There's no such thing as the proper or right way to masturbate: we're all so diverse, as are our sexualities and bodies, so what feels good for one person may not for the next, and even what feels good for one person may not for that same person a few years or even a few days from then.

How does all of that land with you?