Scarleteen

Hi, I have used the message boards in the past when I was younger and found them immensely helpful yet here I am at the ripe age of 29 (lol) asking for some advice/support - I hope it’s okay I’m not a teen/young one anymore. Getting older is scary that’s for sure lol. Sadly I feel like I’m not much wiser than 15 year old me who was posting on here hahahaha.

So, long story short - I’ve not been in a relationship/had sex since 2020 so I guess I’m pretty inexperienced for most people my age. I recently reconnected with a guy I had matched with online several years ago and long story short, he came over on Wednesday night.

I guess I have a lot on my mind about everything that happened but my main concern is the risk of pregnancy.

He did bring condoms and we used one but I think he was pretty nervous so it didn’t go too well for either of us. We tried again later and both mutually decided to take the condom off and try again. I had been on the pill for 13 years but came off it earlier this year to give my body a break. He and I had already discussed this and stupidly went ahead anyway.

I’m not 100% sure how long he was in me for without a condom or if he even was inside me at all ( Ididn’t want to ask because he was very nervous and flustered) but after like less than a minute, (it was more like 30 seconds probably) I said let’s just stop because I was not feeling it. Honestly, everything we did except for the actual sex itself had been great. So yeah, we stopped. He didn’t cum at all btw.

I asked him a couple times if I should be worried and he said he didn’t think so. However, I have a PhD in anxiety lol.

That was Wednesday night and today is Friday afternoon. I did go to the local pharmacy this morning and got the ECP. However, I am unsure about taking it as when I took it in the past (a decade ago), I had bad nausea plus I really don’t want to upset my period since I’ve just got it back after being on the pill.

I suffer from a chronic illness and don’t do well with physical side effects hence my apprehension to taking it.

I know it’s a very grey area but how statistically likely should I be concerned? I don’t want kids but I’m also on the fence that maybe my anxiety is making me stress about the risk of pregnancy even though the reality is very low.

Do you think I should take the pill or do you think the odds sound reasonably low enough that I shouldn’t be worried? Sorry, I apologise because I know that’s a loaded question. I would just love some sound practical advice and some input into if I am overreacting.

Thanks so much :)

Welcome back, Cheeseburger!

It is okay to post here at your age--the topic of your question is well within our area of expertise, so we can help. From what I understand, you had PIV intercourse with a condom, and then there was intercourse or genital-to-genital contact without a condom. Is that right?

The second part is the concern. I think we could say that it poses a moderate risk of pregnancy--it would be higher if your partner had ejaculated, but that isn't the case.

I see why you would prefer not to disturb your cycle since you just got it back, and why you would be apprehensive about the side effects of emergency contraception--especially when you have a chronic illness, you do have to weigh these things carefully.

Two questions that might help you make your decision:

• If you needed it, do you think you would be able to access an abortion easily?

• There may be ways to mitigate some of the effects you are concerned about, like taking anti-nausea medication before your emergency contraception. Is that an option you would like to explore?

I guess I have a lot on my mind about everything that happened
We'd be happy to talk to you about the other things on your mind, if you would like.