Scarleteen

This is really embarrassing but I give up trying to hide it. For context I am a male (pansexual) 14, almost 15 but my hormones have been HORRIBLE lately and I really want to get a toy. I have found one of Amazon that seems appealing and I will have the money soon and can get it. My parents see where I buy things so I don't think that they will care that I got something off of Amazon. The real problem is that I'm scared my parents will see it and be curious on what is inside and will open it. We also have a ring doorbell so even less privacy. I've seen some people say you can put a special request to place it on the side of your house or something, and I'm curious if that's possible to avoid the ring camera. I also worry that I am way too young to be getting a sex toy in the first place. But I am constantly being oppressed by my hormones to the point where I think I may be hypersexual. But whatever. Just wanted to get a post out there for some advice on what to do in my situation. Thank you in advance.

Hi there, burneraccount.

"Hypersexuality" is not really a legitimate framework, for several reasons, including that sexuality isn't a thing we can quantify and is also highly diverse, so there's no baseline sexuality or level of desire for sex where we can legitimately say people are higher or lower than that baseline.

Hormones also can't oppress us -- nor control our sexualities -- though for sure, during life stages like puberty, it can feel like it sometimes. Masturbation or sex toys also won't tend to change how we feel when it comes to the effects of hormones on our bodies. But ultimately, just wanting to masturbate or have sex a lot is not pathological or a sign of a disorder. It's just something common for a lot of people and part of the diversity of human sexuality.

Places like Amazon can be tricky to get sex toys from because a lot of what they sell has harmful chemicals like BPAs or phthalates, so if you're going to buy from there, I'd look up the toy and the manufacturer in a search engine and see if the manufacturer has their own listing for it and if they're clear it's free of those chemicals. If not, I'd search for something else that is.

There's really no right or wrong age for people to explore sex toys, so if it's something you want to try, it's okay to do that. But we aren't people who ship products to people so we can't speak to what kind of delivery to do to have things not be seen on a ring camera. That's simply outside the scope of what we know as a sex education service, but if who you are buying from has any kind of place where you can ask a question about shipping, that would probably be the best source to ask about delivery concerns.

Thanks for the response. It's just that I have been feeling insanely sexual lately and can't stop thinking about it and I'm also thinking that maybe if I have a sex toy it could maybe make me feel more "complete" in a way with my sexual interests. And thank you for the assurance that I'm not too young for this

It probably won't do that -- just like masturbation with your hands won't likely do that -- but that also doesn't mean it isn't okay for you to get one and see how you feel.

In the meantime, and in general, it might just help to know that feeling this way in puberty is very common, and it can feel especially out of control when feeling that way is new to you. Over time, things do subside a little, but it's more that we learn how to have those feelings, but let them come and go more easily at times when we can't or don't want to explore them via masturbation or sex with partners.

So, if the toy doesn't do what you hope it does in this respect, you can also or additionally try just finding something else to focus on when you're feeling like this and you don't like it. Things that tend to create a similar kind of feeling of release to sex and orgasm can also help: doing something active, like working out, when you feel like this is one common thing that works for a lot of people.