Scarleteen

I've known I'm bisexual for a while, but the only person in my life who would be safe enough to even thing about coming out to is my best friend of 10 years.
She's recently expressed a large interest in BL, which made me wander if she's a potential ally.
I've been dropping hints here and there, such as expressing attraction over gorgeous actors or characters from shows.
I even told her that I plan to write a WLW fanfic in the future, and she simply asked "why WLW?"
She's even made WLW coded jokes with me.
Thing is, she's not queer herself (said she doesn't like girls when questioned by her brother), which makes it a bit more worrying that she might take my coming out the wrong way (if she doesn't already suspect me), since we both grew up surrounded by religious influence and still are +I'm a very touchy & affectionate person with people I'm comfortable with.
How do I know if she's safe to come out to, or if I should just wait until I find new people to trust not to turn this into unnecessary tension/judgement.

Hey eggtart,
I’m sorry to hear there aren’t more people you’d feel safe coming out to right now.
I think this longer response to a similar-ish question is really applicable here: I want to come out to my friends, but how do I make sure they'll accept me?, specifically thinking about the possibility of her taking things “the wrong way” because you are affectionate.

The metrics I would use to think about the safeness of this friend are ones around emotional maturity, acceptance, empathy, and kindness in general rather than any specific interests. When she learns something new about someone she knows, how does she react? Is she often judgmental or quick to gossip? If she is uncomfortable with something, is she able to sit with her discomfort or does she react to it in a big way? Is she sensitive and empathetic toward others?

I hope that the answers to these questions are ones that point toward her being someone you can trust with this part of you, but if they aren’t, let’s talk about how you can feel affirmed and cared for while you are still finding people who are safe.

Another great resource: Becoming Out: a totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out