Excessive masturbation

[Tealscarf]

I think I'm addicted to masturbating. Sometimes I find myself touching myself without even realising it.
It's become almost like a reflex for me to slide my fingers inside whenever I go to take a bath, even if I'm not in the mood. And usually, I am always thinking about sex. How do I make it stop? How do I cut down on the masturbation? And why am I always thinking of it, even if sometimes I'm not in the mood for it? (I'm usually more in the mood)

And it's not like it's a new discovery I've made
I've been doing this since I was 12 or maybe even younger

[HannahP]

Hi there Tealscarf!

What you're describing doesn't sound worrisome to me. Here at Scarleteen, as is the c ase for most professionals who work in sexuality, we're very skeptical about the idea that people can get addicted to sex or masturbation, because that's not how addiction works or what "addiction" is meant to be used for as a framework. This article talks about that idea: Are we addicted to sex?

I say that because I don't want you thinking that you're struggling with a medical or psychological problem or doing any harm to yourself by masturbating frequently. But if it still feels uncomfortable to you to be masturbating, especially if you're not really in the mood and find yourself doing it anyway, we can talk about that!

To me, what you're describing sounds more like a habit than an addiction or compulsion. Masturbating can become a very easily ingrained habit because it feels good, it's really rewarding! And just like any other habit that feels good, it can be tricky to change without a solid plan. Usually when you're trying to change a habit, you can't just tell yourself that you're not going to do it as much, you have to set yourself up for success by replacing the habit with something else. So that might look like doing something else with your hands at the times when you usually find yourself absentmindedly masturbating (a little tricky in the bath, but maybe you could bring a book or some kind of little waterproof toy to fidget with?)

Another useful thing is to try to practice checking in with yourself in the moment. So say you're in the bath and you find yourself masturbating. You could pause and ask yourself "am I in the mood for this right now? Does this feel good?" If the answer's yes, go right ahead! But if the answer's no, you might find that saying that clearly to yourself ("this actually doesn't feel very good right now, I don't want to be doing this") might help you stop.

I'm going to leave you with a few articles we have about masturbation. The overall themes are that we believe that masturbation is normal, common, and healthy, but that it's important to do it in a way that feels good for you, both physically and emotionally. I hope this helps!
Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.)
Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation
Take a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation