Scarleteen

Hi again, people of scarleteen!

As the title says, my boyfriend wants me to flirt with him and I have zero clue how that even works.
I have no idea what counts as flirting, I have no idea how to flirt, I have never even intentionally flirted with anyone really as far as I know.
I am over all a very physical affection oriented person, so I never really even cared about words. The full extent of my "flirting" is calling him adorable every once in a while. But he recently told me he needs more verbal affection than just that, so I'm...kinda lost here.

I tried looking up tutorials on how to flirt online, and all it got me were some cheesy pick-up lines, which just can't be it, can it? It also just showed me tutorials on how to flirt with strangers, and I really don't need that.
So uh, what I need here is someone to explain to me how to flirt with someone who you're already in a relationship with. How do I make words sound attractive? How do I not stutter over myself like an idiot while attempting to flirt (I am an incredibly shy person and prefer to hide behind my actions rather than words)?

Thank you in advance for your response and have a great day!
- Ray

Hey there, Ray.

You know, I think that some of the confusion you're having might be the same as some of the confusion I'm having about what your boyfriend is asking for.

Flirting isn't something you're going to find clear guidebooks for, or easy answers, because it's something that is not only really different from person to person, but also really different from situation to situation. People also tend to define it differently. So, without knowing what, more specifically, your boyfriend is asking for, it's no wonder you're feeling so confused. I'd also add that showing affection verbally isn't necessarily the same thing as flirting, which is most broadly generally defined as playfully showing a romantic or sexual interest in someone without a serious intent, which doesn't actually sound to me like what your boyfriend is asking for.

Can you ask him to get more specific with you about what he wants and is looking for? It sounds to me like what he might actually be asking you for are just you using your words more to show how you feel about him. Is that right? Can he give you some examples?