Scarleteen

I am bisexual but i dont think a girl could like me like that. I have always had the biggest crushes on women, never acted on them tho. I dont think ive ever had a woman crush on me. With men, they always ick me out and i hate how needy they are when they like me. I guess what i am saying is how can i change my mindset and be open to a lesbian relationship where its both ways not always unrequited? I just never feel enough for my girl crushes. I dont look particularly gay either so i was just wondering if anyone could help, where can i meet lgbtq people and start dating maybe. Or how can i look a little more approachable? Anyone even relate?

Hey there.

There's honestly no such thing as looking gay. Gay, lesbian, and other queer people look all kinds of ways, even though, of course, there are some ways of presenting that match some people's stereotypes. Plus, just looking some kind of way like that -- matching stereotypes -- generally won't do much when it comes to who will or won't approach us for dating.

No matter who we're interested in, gender-wise, we also often may experience that attraction or interest is one-way, whether it's only us feeling it or only someone else feeling it. You may not know about some guys who might have had crushes on you that didn't make it as obvious as it sounds like others have, but chances are that's already happened plenty without you being aware of it. It might already even have happened without your awareness with women.

Can you say more about why you think women won't share the interest in you you have in them? And more about this idea you aren't enough for women you like? And why you think you look unapproachable?