Scarleteen

Basically I really like this boy. He was so funny and he used to talk to me in class and help me with my schoolwork but now he just ignores me to my face, never interacts with me and treats me like I'm not even there. Some people at school told him I had feelings for him and he hasn't been the same since. His big brother and his big bros girlfriend are really nice to me but he isn't. One of the girls in my fashion in textiles class who is friends with both of us and super nice asked him what he thought of me and he said I was a gimp (in Scotland we use that word for someone who is incompetent annoying/stupid/silly/pathetic/useless) and he told me other friend who sits next to me in sign language and art that I was annoying sometimes and talked too much when they were on the football field. I feel really hurt at what he said because Im aware that my talking is annoying to people (I'm neurodivergent and love to tell people about things) but it really hurts coming from him

Hi Grace peanut,

It sounds to me like you lucked out! Although you had feelings for this person at one point, they do not sound like a person you'd want to build a relationship with. His actions do not sound nice towards you.

It can hurt to have feelings that are not reciprocated, but sometimes that happens because we can not control how others think and feel.

Have you talked about your feelings with anyone else? maybe a friend? It sounds like a good time to focus on surrounding yourself with people who are respectful towards you and who you enjoy being around!

Yeah I guess that it's good because I definitely do not what someone in my life that toxic, my friend has been telling me that he's missing out and that he's stupid if he thinks that he should be so mean to me to try and comfort me so I'm kinda trying to move on a bit

Hi there, Grace peanut.

That's good to hear! I'm glad that you understand that you deserve people—friends and romantic partners alike—that appreciate you for being yourself, and not forcing to turn you into someone you're not. This behavior also says a lot about how he treats disabled people, really.

With what you know about him, do you think moving on from him is something you can easily do, or would there be any challenges?

Sometimes I can't move on from people straight away and I wait for them to magically start liking me but I eventually always move on.

Hi there, Grace Peanut

Taking time to move on from someone you have feelings for is not a problem--you don't need to be able to change your feelings instantly. If you can expect that you'll eventually move on, that is good enough.

To check in, how do you feel about the dynamic at school? Do you feel like you can stay out of interactions with this boy? Has anyone else been rude to you, or is it just him?

He's the only one thats rude to me. He's in two of my classes but we don't talk in physics and he doesn't sit anywhere near me in music so I can definitely stay out of interactions with him

Sounds like it'll be pretty easy to move on, then, between him just generally being a jerk and not seeing him often, anyway. Wishing you the best with it. <3