Scarleteen

Hi y'all! First time on a forum like this so I'm pretty nervous, but I'm really worried and quite possibly overthinking all this, but I can't get it off my mind.

For reference, I am an 18 year old enban with PMOS with congenital clitoromegaly who has been on testosterone HRT for one and a half years.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone had any information or insight regarding my situation. Basically, I don't have feeling in my clitoris. When I touch it, I only feel my finger. When I realized this a few months back, I did a handful of experiments and found out that I could feel temperature/pressure (but that might be the surrounding area?) and ticklish, but that's it. I've never been able to masterbate (much less orgasm).

It really sucks because I hear other people, including my friends, talk about their experiences with their clitoris basically being a "pleasure button" of sorts, or describe what an orgasm feels like, or etc and I'm just honestly really upset I don't experience that. I have a sex drive and fantasize, but the actual physical aspect of it all has eluded me. This whole concern feels very silly when I think about it.

I can't find any information or discussion of this sort of thing! Everything talks about "overuse" reducing ability to feel erotic sensation, or things like clitoral phimosis or the like, but that isn't what is happening to me. I'm used to feeling in the dark when regarding sexual anatomy because my sexual anatomy isn't typical to begin with, but even among other people with PMOS and/or clitoromegaly, I seem to have the opposite experience! Typically, clitoromegaly increases sensation (because there's just more clitoris to go around, lol) and the hyperandrogenism aspect of PMOS increases erotic sensation in the clitoris. But, alas, here I am.

Anywho, apologies for yapping so much! I appreciate this space being here, because without it I'd probably never talk about this ever

Hi itsjustmeithink and welcome to the boards!

I wanna start by saying that it is common for folks to come here worried about the sexual pleasure they experience not reaching the 'expectations' set by our culture. I do however hear you that it is frustrating you aren't feeling pleasure in the way you'd like.

The clitoris, although significant, is not the only place we can touch to feel good. Do you masturbate/get pleasure in other ways? If not, that is definitely something to explore. Even the areas of the vulva directly around the clitoris or other parts of your body may be a good place to start. You also mentioned feeling pressure and temperature, does that feel good? Those sensations are something you should absolutely explore!

Another important aspect is what is on your mind. Are you feeling aroused when you try and touch your clitoris? What are you thinking about? Is it stress about feeling something?

Some more information may help us have a better understanding, but you are certainly not alone!

I do just want to mention that, yes, clitoromegaly is not usually associated with a lack or loss of sensation, just in case you still had concerns about that.

Like Amber, I'm curious to know when you've been exploring your genitals if you've been aroused while you were doing that or not, because arousal is what makes all of our genitals more sensitive and responsive to touch. Just having those organs present all by itself often won't do a whole lot, which is part of why we can do things like have gynecological exams and experience that touch very differently than, say, touch during masturbation or sexual activity with a partner while we're turned on. The external clitoris isn't, in other words, a pleasure button all by itself: while it's got a lot more sensory nerve endings bundled into a small space unlike most other parts of the body, like the rest of the body, a person generally needs to be sexually aroused to feel much of the pleasure that can come from this body part.

Hello! I appreciate the replies.

In regards to both comments: I am aroused, or at least I think I am, when I try. I'll fantasize or read something and get the urge to touch my clitoris, but when I do nothing happens. Fantasizing and reading is enjoyable but it is very frustrating to have the urge to masturbate and then just not be able to, lol. The rest of the genital area also seems a bit numb to me, but I haven't really actually looked into specifics or tried to test anything. Touching anywhere in the vulva feels more like my fingernail touching something, rather than my skin, if that makes sense? There is feeling but it isn't as much as lets say, my arm or face. Sort of how a terrapin's shell operates.

I haven't experimented with temperature, but I have with pressure, which didn't bring any results.

Would this be something you would bring up at a gynecological exam? I've never had one but I've been wondering if I should have one because of both this and a few other concerns, but I'm not sure if that would be the proper place for these questions/discussions.

Again, thanks for the responses. Cheers!

This is for sure something to bring up at a gynecological exam, and I'd suggest it. I'm still not sure this is a physiological issue, but we also couldn't rule that out, and the only person who could is a qualified medical provider. Even if this isn't an issue whose roots are in physiology, it would sure help to know that so you could get more clues to what might be happening. And, if it is physiological, then you can also find out what you can do about it.

I will say this: over the many years I've worked as a sex educator, when I hear someone say they *think* they were aroused, it seems like that tends to be an indicator that they either probably weren't, or, if they were, that they might have been, but were not highly aroused. How aroused we are does tend to make a difference, so if the arousal we are experiencing is pretty mid, so also will tend to be how our bodies feel when we do things with that level of arousal. I don't suppose you've ever had the experience where you were turned on a whole lot, like, were this a hunger for food, the way you might feel when you are voraciously hungry to the point you feel like you could eat a whole buffet?