Please do not post about perpetrating COCSA or other sexual violence
Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2026 10:03 am
This is an important reminder to everyone using the boards and our other direct services who might or wants to post a question about having perpetrated any kind of sexual assault, abuse or other violence.
Our user policies and guidelines -- which everyone registered on the boards has clicked "I agree" to, and which are provided for everyone using our text service and chat -- make clear that this is not the right place for these questions:
We also ask that people please not post explicit details of engaging in abuse as a perpetrator or possible perpetrator: many of our staff, including myself, are SA and/or CSA survivors, and details of abuse from people engaging in abuse is often very different than when survivors of abuse post details, and also tends to occur for different motivations.
Help with abuse perpetration is something that usually requires, and is generally best provided by, a specialized therapist, and in a therapeutic setting. A public forum or sex education helpline is neither of those things, and the same is true for our other direct services, as no one here is a therapist nor has the specialized training, education, or environment -- which includes consent to take in these kinds of descriptions and questions -- needed to help people who have perpetrated abuse. It also requires someone with the ability to listen to descriptions of perpetrated abuse, and people who choose to do that kind of work are rarely survivors of sexual abuse or assault themselves.
If and when anyone posts this or a related kind of content, depending on the post and if it is or isn't in moderation, we will either not approve the post, or lock and move the post to an area only staff can view. If we keep or approve the post -- which we may do in cases where people are posting thinking they are perpetrators, but clearly are not -- we may edit some or all of the content if explicit descriptions of abuse are in them to help the rest of our community feel as safe as they can here.
If you are someone wanting to know if something you engaged in was sexual abuse or assault (SA), child sexual abuse or assault (CSA), or child-on-child sexual abuse or assault (COCSA), or other kinds of abuse, the following resources here on the site will answer that question for you:
Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault
If You Have Been Sexually Assaulted
COCSA: What It Is, How To Know if It’s Got Anything To Do With You, and What To Do If It Does
Thank you.
Our user policies and guidelines -- which everyone registered on the boards has clicked "I agree" to, and which are provided for everyone using our text service and chat -- make clear that this is not the right place for these questions:
(If you'd like to review the user agreement as a whole, you'll find it here: https://www.scarleteen.com/about/user-g ... acy-policy)We lack the appropriate resources, tools and medium to engage with people who are:
•actively suicidal
•living in a home where they are a victim or otherwise a part of ongoing incest or other sexual abuse
•otherwise in immediate harm
•potential or known perpetrators of sexual abuse, assault or any other kind of violence
In some cases we can, however, refer some of those users to local or online resources who do have the capacity and qualifications to help and intervene.
We also ask that people please not post explicit details of engaging in abuse as a perpetrator or possible perpetrator: many of our staff, including myself, are SA and/or CSA survivors, and details of abuse from people engaging in abuse is often very different than when survivors of abuse post details, and also tends to occur for different motivations.
Help with abuse perpetration is something that usually requires, and is generally best provided by, a specialized therapist, and in a therapeutic setting. A public forum or sex education helpline is neither of those things, and the same is true for our other direct services, as no one here is a therapist nor has the specialized training, education, or environment -- which includes consent to take in these kinds of descriptions and questions -- needed to help people who have perpetrated abuse. It also requires someone with the ability to listen to descriptions of perpetrated abuse, and people who choose to do that kind of work are rarely survivors of sexual abuse or assault themselves.
If and when anyone posts this or a related kind of content, depending on the post and if it is or isn't in moderation, we will either not approve the post, or lock and move the post to an area only staff can view. If we keep or approve the post -- which we may do in cases where people are posting thinking they are perpetrators, but clearly are not -- we may edit some or all of the content if explicit descriptions of abuse are in them to help the rest of our community feel as safe as they can here.
If you are someone wanting to know if something you engaged in was sexual abuse or assault (SA), child sexual abuse or assault (CSA), or child-on-child sexual abuse or assault (COCSA), or other kinds of abuse, the following resources here on the site will answer that question for you:
Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault
If You Have Been Sexually Assaulted
COCSA: What It Is, How To Know if It’s Got Anything To Do With You, and What To Do If It Does
Thank you.