Scarleteen

Hi. I don't really know how to use this but I'm just going to go for it. So, I've only ever masturbated by rubbing and mostly over my underwear since that's what gives me the most pleasure.

But I'm going on this trip with some friends in a couple of weeks, and I'm almost completely sure that this guy is going to want to hook up with me. And he's definitely going to want to finger me but the thing is... fingering has always been unsatisfying for me. And I can't fake an orgasm! Okay, I'm panicking.

But, the thing is, I want to be prepared. But I every single time I try to finger myself it's an immediate turn off. Everything is just so sensitive and tight, it kind of creeps me out and to be honest kind of hurts. I don't get it. I know people masturbate differently but I don't care, I'm going to be fingered in my life anyway, so I just want it to feel good.

How do I make it feel good? Maybe I'm not doing it correctly? What kind of lube do I have to use (if any) and can it be, like, a normal kind or is that an insane thing to ask? Like, just liquid soap or something, I mean.

Okay!!! This is very embarrassing but please someone help me out... thanks.

Hey KittyKatKitty, and welcome to the boards! I’m really glad you’ve found us here. No need to feel embarrassed, this is what we’re here for.

It sounds like fingering just isn’t something you enjoy or find pleasurable, and that is totally okay and not uncommon at all! It’s not something you have to do in order to hook up with someone. There’s plenty of ways to hook up and be sexual with someone without inserting fingers into the vagina. In general, too, if something sexual doesn’t feel good for you, there should be no pressure to do that thing. Know what I mean?

If external stimulation feels good for you, that’s definitely something you can do and ask for during partnered sexual activity. Do you feel comfortable asking for that?

To answer your question on how you might be able to make fingering more pleasurable and comfortable, I do have a few suggestions! Starting very slowly with just one finger and plenty of lube is super important to minimize stretching and friction. You can use any lube you want as long as it’s safe to be inside your vagina (not soap or body lotion). We have an article that can get you up to speed on all things lube here: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... tle-primer