Scarleteen

these past two months I have been hooking up with this guy. at first it did seem casual. but the more he came over and we talked and hung out in between rounds and continue to text every day, I find myself gaining actual feelings for him. we established at the beginning we weren't looking for a relationship and just long term casual stuff. and for context, the beginning of this year I got out of an emotionally draining relationship that left me with trust issues and a new love for being single. but I somehow don't mind the idea of maybe dating this guy. he's four years older than me (im 18 he's 22) so we are at different stages of life with different mindsets and POVs which hinders my idea of being in a relationship with him. I also don't wanna tell him any of this because im afraid I'll scare him off. so anyways any advice u guys? ;p

Welcome to the boards, meow2008! Before jumping in on any practical advice, I'd like to know more about you and this person. When you mentioned "actual feelings," how would you go into detail about what you're experiencing? Is it similar to what you've experienced with other people (including the person you left a few months ago), or is there something different to it? And aside from calling it "dating," what's your idea of being in a romantic relationship? Do you think you and this guy share the same idea of what's casual and what's more exclusive/"serious"?

I think your attraction to this person is understandable--if this guy is vastly different from your former partner (in a good way), it's not unreasonable to start developing feelings for him. At the same time, you just got out of another relationship, and you don't find the age difference between you and him appropriate. I can see how this feels conflicting for you.