Welcome to the boards, wawa1670. I'm sorry to hear that you've been unable to experience pleasure. First of all, you might find it a relief that you're not alone in feeling this way, and you're definitely not "broken"! This is one of the most commonly asked questions on our message boards, because a lot of folks weren't equipped with the knowledge of how to masturbate and discover their own sexuality from their school or parents. If you'd like, you can search the boards (using the smaller search box on the top right side of the site) with keywords like "can't masturbate" or "can't orgasm" to see similar conversations in the past. You can also search the entire website if you'd like to read our static articles instead.
Sexual arousal has a lot of looks; aside from lubrication, there's flushing on the body, more rapid breathing, and the hardening of the nipples. Additionally, it's not unusual for our mind and body to not align. Sometimes we might have sexual thoughts and that desire for sex (solo or partnered), but our bodies don't feel the same way just yet. Could you fill us in by answering the following questions?
- When you masturbate, do you begin by feeling very aroused, or it it more something you are hoping will happen as you go on?
- Would you tell us a little about what kinds of stimulation or sorts of activities you've tried during sex?
- Do you have fantasies that are particularly interesting to you?
- In general, how has life been for you? Have you been able to experience nonsexual pleasure on the regular?
The clitoris is located right below your mons, a.k.a. the area under your belly button where pubic hair would typically grow. For more details, check out this article on the vulva:
Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More. You might also want to check out these articles:
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Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide
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Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation
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Take a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation