Yes, I should and you should actually see a medical provider for those symptoms
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 2:05 pm
In the last few months, I can’t even count how many times someone on one of our direct services has described an issue, symptom, or concern and my response has been “that’s something you should see a healthcare provider for.” Oftentimes, the recipient shares some kind of hesitation, if not outright rejection. Depending on where we live, our socioeconomic position, whether we have insurance, transportation, etc., getting to see a safe medical provider can be really difficult. But for those of us that do have access, I still hear a lot of, “but that’s embarrassing,” or, “I don’t want to have to talk about it out loud,” or, “Isn’t there a way I can just take care of this at home?”
So I had to really check myself recently when I realized I was neglecting a sexual health problem of my own. This is a recurrent issue for me and I have never talked to a doctor about it. I didn’t want to make an appointment because the OBGYN shut down their online scheduling and I HAD to call. And poor me, I had to speak the words “vulva” and “vagina,” which I type about a million times a week. Gasp. I had other things I felt were more important, like going to work, and a ton of other medical appointments. It takes a really long time to get to the medical complex on the bus. And, I wanted to just deal with it on my own, without telling anyone, because despite a lot of work to unlearn shame and guilt, I still feel a lot of internalized shame around health issues.
So I really doubled down on this visit, because I thought this could be a teaching and learning experience for myself and maybe some other people too!
The FNP who I saw was kind and professional and efficient. She ran through potential causes for my symptoms first, explained them in really understandable language, and explained the treatment options for each cause, writing down what I’d prefer in each event if there was an option. She had a medical student with her too, because I was really into the "teaching and learning" theme and, ya know, what's one more person looking in my vagina this week?
I’m a really anxious person. I do not like being at the doctor’s office. I do not like other people looking at my body. But I remembered that this person has seen so many bodies, and simply would not do the job she does if she felt really grossed out and judgmental. Most of us have jobs where we do not regularly look at people's genitals-- it isn't so hard to avoid. She did an external exam with gloves and fingers, then a speculum (that’s the metal or plastic spreader) exam, which included two swabs with very long handled Q tips, and then a quick cervical exam with gloved hands. I also gave a urine sample. I have chronic pelvic pain, and so exams like this can be quite uncomfortable, or trigger pain episodes. It wasn’t fun, but getting effective treatment for the symptoms I was experiencing was a worthy trade-off.
We really shouldn’t have to be miserable. When we have the option and access to get legitimate help, I hope we can take advantage of that.
So I had to really check myself recently when I realized I was neglecting a sexual health problem of my own. This is a recurrent issue for me and I have never talked to a doctor about it. I didn’t want to make an appointment because the OBGYN shut down their online scheduling and I HAD to call. And poor me, I had to speak the words “vulva” and “vagina,” which I type about a million times a week. Gasp. I had other things I felt were more important, like going to work, and a ton of other medical appointments. It takes a really long time to get to the medical complex on the bus. And, I wanted to just deal with it on my own, without telling anyone, because despite a lot of work to unlearn shame and guilt, I still feel a lot of internalized shame around health issues.
So I really doubled down on this visit, because I thought this could be a teaching and learning experience for myself and maybe some other people too!
The FNP who I saw was kind and professional and efficient. She ran through potential causes for my symptoms first, explained them in really understandable language, and explained the treatment options for each cause, writing down what I’d prefer in each event if there was an option. She had a medical student with her too, because I was really into the "teaching and learning" theme and, ya know, what's one more person looking in my vagina this week?
I’m a really anxious person. I do not like being at the doctor’s office. I do not like other people looking at my body. But I remembered that this person has seen so many bodies, and simply would not do the job she does if she felt really grossed out and judgmental. Most of us have jobs where we do not regularly look at people's genitals-- it isn't so hard to avoid. She did an external exam with gloves and fingers, then a speculum (that’s the metal or plastic spreader) exam, which included two swabs with very long handled Q tips, and then a quick cervical exam with gloved hands. I also gave a urine sample. I have chronic pelvic pain, and so exams like this can be quite uncomfortable, or trigger pain episodes. It wasn’t fun, but getting effective treatment for the symptoms I was experiencing was a worthy trade-off.
We really shouldn’t have to be miserable. When we have the option and access to get legitimate help, I hope we can take advantage of that.