Scarleteen

Hey, i’m so unbelievably panicked over this so i hope you guys can be as supportive and direct in giving me the answer to my issue here please!

I’ve read here that it’s impossible for someone to get pregnant (unless under ivf conditions) through non-direct penis to vagina/vulva ejaculation due to the path sperm needs to take and the speed it needs to be inserted into the vagina to do so. and it brought me peace of mind because i was giving my boyfriend a blowjob and a handjob and i forgot to wash my hands after (i know it’s a mistake and im paying for it now with the overwhelming stress im feeling) and i touched my vagina with that same hand after while freshening up. But then, i came across a certain board, that re-ignited all my worries and fears because although on the how pregnancy is caused boards and what things could lead to pregnancy board it was said that there HAS to be DIRECT penis to vagina or vulva ejaculation/contact for someone to get pregnant and that it can’t happen through penis to hand to vagina, i read this statement on one of the boards that then contradicts that: “In order for a pregnancy to occur, there has to be direct genital contact (penis to vulva/vagina) and/or fluids from a penis must contact a vulva, and could potentially happen if you or a partner had fingers with fresh semen⁠ on them which were then rubbed on the vulva or inserted into the vagina”

I definitely didn’t insert my fingers into my vagina but my hand definitely came in contact with my vagina.

So do the first boards that state that pregnancy can’t happen at all unless in the presence of ivf conditions and direct penis to vulva/vagina ejaculation, mean that this is no way a means of getting pregnant or not?

Please let me know which board to follow because i’ve read half of them and parts of each one gives me different answers! thank you.

Hi there, Jasmineoates--welcome to the boards!

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so worried about all this! We do our best to be as consistent and clear as possible, but language can still be an imprecise tool. I do see why you are confused, and I will try to explain exactly what we are relying on when we make evaluations about whether the semen on someone's hand can cause pregnancy.

In short: no, you do not have to worry about being pregnant.

It is true that there has to be direct contact between semen and the vulva to cause a pregnancy, and that when people are concerned about sperm cells on their hand causing pregnancy, it is most always not possible. This is because there is a difference between holding the fluid of semen in your palm or having a lot of it dripping off of your hand, and having traces of the fluid on your hand.

For the latter: you might notice the residue of semen on your hand after sex, but sperm cells need more than that to be able to cause pregnancy--not having enough fluid is an indication that the cells have been deprived of nutrients, and damaged by things like dehydration and friction and all the other unideal conditions of an unideal environment.

For the former: yes, we might theoretically imagine someone transferring viable sperm cells to the vulva when there is a lot of semen in their hands--making it much more like what we would usually think of as direct contact. But this is the less common scenario. People don't usually make a point of carrying semen and transferring it to a vulva, but they do often worry that a little residue or wetness (or having come into contact with sperm without washing your hands afterwards) will cause pregnancy. It won't--sperm cells just can't survive all that.

Remember, pregnancy in the first situation is still less likely than it would be in the direct genital-to-genital contact scenario: some cells are already damaged by being exposed to the environment of the transfer, there is probably less semen overall, and we are missing the propulsion that would occur in penis-in-vagina sex and make it easier for the sperm cells to reach the cervix. (That is why the writer on that other boards post said that pregnancy could potentially happen, not that it was very likely.)

Does that make sense and address your concerns?

i forgot to wash my hands after (i know it’s a mistake and im paying for it now with the overwhelming stress im feeling)

Really, that is such a harsh way to think about what happened. Yes, it is advisable to wash your hands after sex, but that can happen after you freshen up, and we are not going to tell you that your pain now is justified by not washing your hands immediately. This is not a mistake that you should expect to pay for.

If I may, I want to ask a bit about your situation in relation to your concerns about pregnancy:

• To clarify, are you having the kinds of sex that can cause pregnancy? If you are, what kinds of contraception do you use?

• I understand that reproductive health services like abortions are difficult to access in Beirut, and how that probably raises the stakes of having sex. Is your partner sensitive to the risks you are taking in having sex with him, and just as invested in preventing pregnancy as you are?