Scarleteen

Hi,

First time posting here.

I am single female in 20s and been single last 4-5 years after 1 straight relationship.

I am doing some datings with men but, nothing really hit or feels any sparks/ chemistry with men and not had sex for the last 4-5 years.

Last weekend, I went out for clubbing and hanged out with some friends mostly women in 40 - 50s at the club. They were great to hangout and had fun together. After the club, I was invited to one of the woman's house and we had more drinks together..

When we had drinks together, more socials and dance together at house, I became really engaged with a woman I met first time and she is in 40s. I don't know what sparked initially but, chats and dance got along really well together. Then, we made eye contacts and physical contacts together then, she started touching and stroking my bodies and kissed my necks and shoulder.. Then, we started kissing each other and make out basically..

I knew she was married with kids but, I was too excited and horny so, couldn't stop myself so, host let us get into one of the bedrooms.. So, we started more kissing, foreplays and had sex (mostly oral) together. I had multiple of orgasms and it was the best sexual experiences I have ever received.

After finishing, we took shower together and hold hands then, went to each other way's home.. and she told me it was great to have sex together and great pleasure.. Also, she told me that she is having sexless marriage so, she enjoyed more than ever.. and most of the friends in the house of course know that we had sex and they say nothing about it.
She also, told me that she wants to have sex regularly with me as a friend with benefit if I am interested in. And I am definitely enjoyed and interesting about it.

The only thing concerns me is her family and partner. I am not going to tell him but, I feel bit guilty now and unsure what to do.

Hello and welcome to the boards, Kyunghop!

I see why this situation would leave you feeling unsure. You've had a wonderful connection with this person that is so different from what you've experienced with partners before, and she's interested in getting together again. She does have a partner, but she doesn't seem happy with the relationship if she describes it as sexless, and you seem to have the implicit approval of the friends you were with. This does put you in an awkward position where you'll have to decide what to do when you are seeing some reasons to say yes.

I'm afraid I can't advise continuing a relationship with her without the knowledge and consent of her existing partner. Her dissatisfaction around sex in their relationship would not justify going back on her commitments to them, nor does her friends' approval. She should communicate with her partner and change the terms of her relationship with them before she looks to have sex with other people. And if you go looking, I think you'd be able to find someone else you could feel just as good with--this woman is not the only person in the world for you.

This would be a different conversation if she and her partner agreed that their relationship will not involve sex, and if she had their support in having sex with other people. If you see this person again, would you want to have a conversation with her about what her partner knows and what agreements they have between them about their relationship? (If she says her partner supports her, you would want to get some confirmation that she is telling the truth, too.)

What do you think about that? I noticed you've shared that you are straight. Has your experience with this woman changed your thinking about your orientation?