Scarleteen

How come everyone around me gets so much attention like they will get so many likes and compliments irl and on social media and have deep connections with their friends and get romantic attention but I dont get any of that sure I have friends but the group never hangs out outside of school they are either uninterested or we live too far apart. Very few of them seem to care about anything i do when i would for them. Anyone ive met either sees me as an acquaintance or a friend and as nothing more except for those random people in middle school who would bully me for nothing. My social skills are bad I dont have siblings or cousins. I feel like im invisible to everyone else besides my parents. It wasn't this way as a kid and I got alot of attention and would be at my friend's house like it was my second home and we would call all the time I feel like im doing something wrong and missing out on the teenage experience like im wasting my youth and nothing is happening I know this sounds pathetic but I put the thought of romantic relationships on such a high pedestal like the peak human experience that is unachiveable kinda like trying to get a 100 on a test on a subject im not good at while everyone else seems to get it and i cant get out of that mindset. I'm probably going to become 17 and 18 and be in the same school and its gonna stay the same but as I get older the pressures gonna get worse I dont know what to do and I have a bad feeling about this but im also scared of abusive relationships I know that makes no sense cause I sound so desperate but idk everything is so conflicting and men dont have to worry about walking alone at night and gender based oppression while I have to and they get to date women too im so jealous of them I also am really skeptical of them too because every man in my life who isnt my dad (like dudes my age) have been misogynistic and treated me as less than because they dont find me attractive it makes me sad to know that these types of people are the majority of my dating pool in the future men are truly so lucky to not have to deal with that

Sorry this was so long omg

Hey again Kimctv. I'm sorry that you've been feeling crappy because of this. I can definitely relate to what you're describing here; I can share a bit of my experience just so you know you're not the only one who have felt this way.

When I was your age (about 10 years ago), I also felt like I have no one interested in me--not necessarily from a romantic standpoint, though that was in my mind for a while, but mostly in terms of friends. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb for being socially awkward, which I know is due to my autism as well as living in a relatively unpleasant household. I remember how some folks in my high school would talk behind my back for being "childish"; and by "childish" I mean using a strap to carry my water bottle to school. (I didn't--and I still don't--think it was childish, but here we are.) Interacting with most of my schoolmates also felt like walking on eggshells, because I'd have no idea how they would think of me when I'm not around. I'm not entirely sure how things are going with the people your age at your high school, but at least where I live, high school student "categories" were more apparent.

Once I got accepted to university, I decided to change things around. One of it is by changing the name I go by. I didn't come up with a completely new name; I just went with a different part of the name I was given. I also changed the way I presented myself. Even though there were people from my high school who went to the same university as I did, I began feeling more confident and approached people (especially those I haven't met) with no fear of being judged. My university life isn't exactly all sunshine and rainbows, but through the harshest parts of it I was able to recognize that the right people will stick with us. Some people disliked me--some even outright harmed me--but there were more people who appreciated me for being who I am and supported me through my toughest moments. Maybe the amount of people we keep in our network is different from one person to another. But it's less about how many folks you can befriend in your lifespan and more about how well they treat you (and the opposite). Quality thrives over quantity, really.

I'm not saying you need to completely revamp yourself. In fact, as much as I'm no longer the person I was back in high school and university, there are parts of me that remain the same in the last ten years. But I'd like to let you know that this particular part of your life can definitely become better. ;;

Thanks for sharing your experience yeah idk what il do as an adult tbh