Scarleteen

Hello -

I am someone whose main method of relaxing, soothing and calming myself down is to engage in self pleasure. I am a 20 year old male in college and I have my own private bedroom which I really enjoy for lots of reasons, but primarily because I can pretty much masturbate whenever I want.

I started having sexual feelings and desire when I was a young teen and for a while I was quite ashamed. I’d masturbate, enjoy it, then after, feel like I’ve committed a crime. Although I’ve come a long way in learning to embrace my body and enjoy the pleasures of which it offers me.

I’d say I usually masturbate around 2-3 times per day, which is probably a lot compared to most others I imagine. Some days it’s none, but other days when I have nothing to do and just want to chill out, I’ll have a nice long session where I’ll just relax in bed and pleasure myself until I feel satisfied. On those days, I’ll end up having about 5-6 orgasms.

My friends casually talk about masturbation but I’m afraid to hop in because I’m scared they’ll be shocked how much I do it.

And it’s not like it hurts my body either. I always stop if things start to feel off. And I don’t let it get in the way of other important life stuff too.

I’m also single, so I don’t have a sexual partner. So I recently ordered a penis vibrator toy to help me explore new sensations on my genitals that jerking off can’t do for me.

Mainly, I just wanted to check in about my masturbation frequency to see what you think because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the taking advantage of the fact that I enjoy my body and find sexual pleasure to feel wonderful.

Hey Eli. Really, there isn't a fixed amount of how much masturbation is "okay"; some people tend to masturbate more often, some are good with only doing it every once in a while. When you have a room on your own, I think it makes a lot of sense if you use your time to masturbate there. As long as your masturbation sessions don't get in the way of college and socializations, you should be good to go. You're right to say that there's nothing wrong with enjoying your body and finding sexual pleasure to be wonderful

Does this answer your question?

Yeah, that helps a lot, thank you! Sometimes I’ll be doing a reading in my room and for some reason just be really horny which can feel a little distracting, but it’s never like stopped me from finishing my work or anything. I aim to use masturbating as a reward for myself when I’m all done with everything as opposed to an excuse to stop doing something. I guess I’m just a little afraid to admit to my friends how much jerking off I do. But the way I see it, it’s something that to me feels really really good and makes me happy so I think it’s better to embrace that rather than hold back out of shame because that wouldn’t actually get rid of my desire, it would just bottle it up. That’s the same reason I bought a sex toy. It’s something I’ve thought about for a while so I figured I might as well pursue my desires.

Also, I’ve always thought of partnered sex of being like pleasurable beyond what one can do by themselves (I’ve never had a partner before) so that’s part of the reason I’ve craved a relationship so badly for a while now (along with plenty of other important reasons). But if I have ways on my own to have the pleasure I really want (hence, the penis massager I ordered) then by the time I do meet someone, I won’t be so desperate which will make it easier to have a healthy sexual connection (& connection in general) with my partner!

Anyway, do you understand the fear I have to admit to my friends how much I masturbate? I just feel like I’d shock them. But they are good people and I doubt they’d like actually judge me.

Hey, Eli.

It's actually not unusual for young people to masturbate several times a day. Between all of this being new to y'all and, especially for Western young people, often a lack of a million responsibilities in a day that would just make having that kind of time impossible, I promise, you are not the only person who masturbates more than once a day when they can. You may even have more than one person in your friend group who has that in common with you.

That said, no one has to share anything about their masturbation or the rest of their sexual lives with their friends unless they want to and feel comfortable. They aren't your sexual partners, after all, so there's no sort of need-to-know or even want-to-know-because-we're-sexual-partners-so-your-self-pleasure-may-be-of-personal-interest-for-future-partnered-sex, so if you don't feel comfortable, I hope you also don't feel compelled. If this is something you want to share, I would not worry about shocking your friends just because you masturbate a couple times a day. I don't think most people would find that shocking. But if it isn't, it's also fine not to. No one needs to know every detail about your masturbation, including your friends. <3

By the way, I'm really glad to hear you talking about pleasure and feeling good in your body. That's such a struggle for so many people, especially younger people who come here for help, so it's always a joy when someone comes in with the attitudes you have!

Thank you so much heather! I’ve worked hard to feel good about my body and not ashamed. I used to feel really weird about wanting a sex toy but I realised that feeling weird about wasn’t gonna make me want it less, so I just decided to embrace my body and pursue my desires. I’m actually quite excited to try the penis vibrator I ordered when it gets here. It came with a 2 oz bottle of water based lube for free which is nice!

I’m particularly excited because sometimes I’m really tired but still want pleasure so having a vibration toy that does it for me I think will be wonderful.

I guess I’m not really asking any questions with this post, I honestly just feel like sharing my experience, so I hope that’s okay. For whoever’s reading this I just want you to know that your body is nothing to be ashamed of and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the many pleasures it can give you! I hope this helps thanks again for the support, heather!