Scarleteen

Hello, I know this is a question that's been posted here on multiple occasions, so my apologies if this post is unnecessary.

I've attempted to masturbate through inserting fingers after sufficient clitoral stimulation, where the first finger enters with little issue, while the second finger is either barely able to or unable to penetrate without a burning sensation, tightness, or pain. Following advice I read on various forums, I bought water-based lube and attempted to try again with large amounts of lubrication whilst being presumably aroused. But little changed and I still am unable to perform further digital penetration. I've also attempted penetration using a relatively moderately sized dildo (4 inches in length and 3 inches max in girth), but also failed, though it may also be due to the size of the toy.

I've never been sexually active with others, nor is it a primary concern of mine in the time being, however I'd like to figure this out before that point. I've read up on vaginismus and am concerned that may be the cause, though I'm also not confident on the applicability of the literature on myself.

Given all this, is there any advice I should hear before I give up on this until penetration becomes more relevant?

Hey cass20, welcome to the boards. You're on the right track that insertive sex (regardless if fingers, toys, and/or a penis is involved) requires generous usage of lube for it to not hurt. I wonder if you've tried inserting your finger(s) in a different position from how you usually do it. We can't give you specific suggestions, but that might be something you can consider, especially if you haven't. The positioning of your finger(s) upon insertion could also be something you want to experiment with. How does that sound?

Further, I'd just like to make sure you recognize that insertive sex doesn't have to be included in the partnered sex you're having if you've been having issues with it. Not saying that you have to let go of the idea, but I think it's also good to keep in mind that there isn't a universal sex checklist everyone has to follow. Do you get what I mean?

We have an article on painful insertive sex--its main focus is on partnered sex, but you might find the advice useful: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse As for seeing a health professional for possible vaginismus, I personally don't think it's necessary at the moment. Our article on vaginismus should also supplement what you've learned: The FBI Files: Vaginismus