Scarleteen

I feel really embarrassed and ashamed about certain preferences sexually, i just hate that i feel like this. I saw this when i was little, im wondering if this stuff is innate? But its making me feel disgusted with myself and my body, i cant handle anyone or anything touching my stomach its too triggering. I need help with this i cant move past the shame of this sexual preference.

Hi Ghiblisirel.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling like this--we'd be happy to help.

Sexual preference and sexuality is complicated and influenced by many factors. Perhaps some of those factors exist from birth, but the others are the result of experience in the world. Either way, sexual interests are usually, as you might expect, not intentionally chosen.

We do have a guide about moving past sexual shame generally: Undoing Sexual Shame. Would you look over the article, and tell us if the steps seem doable/helpful?

If you feel up to it, we could also talk about the preference itself--I promise we are honest, and that we don't judge and would not think any less of you.

Do you remember hearing any messages that made you feel like you should be ashamed about this preference? Where did you hear them?