Family break up and baby fever
Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2026 10:54 pm
I think I mentioned it here before, but my parents announced their separation back in May. My mom moved out last month when my dad and I were gone for a weekend, but she’s over almost every day. Meanwhile, she expects me (and my dad but I’m not sure if she talked to him about it) to keep this a secret from our mutual friend that we see almost every week. Very awkward.
This has also coincided with a strange bout of baby fever on my part. Since June/July, I’ve been very attached to the idea of having a kid. I’ve been abstractly thinking about adopting at some point in the future, but trying to be practical. If I can get a job, I will likely be working in person 40+ hours per week and single, which makes me a poor candidate for adoption licensing. As a result, I’ve been looking into other options in far more depth than at other points in my life.
However, I’m not sure if this is just an outlet for me to imagine a family/life where I get some of the reassurance I’m not getting now (or maybe ever). How does one separate projecting current unmet needs on to daydreams and an actual desire to have kids? I’m at the very least 3 years away (probably closer to 5 years away) from actually having a kid, but it might change some of my career choices if I decide that single motherhood is going to be the path for me. That said, I don’t want to make those choices if I’m simply fantasizing rather than setting a real goal.
This has also coincided with a strange bout of baby fever on my part. Since June/July, I’ve been very attached to the idea of having a kid. I’ve been abstractly thinking about adopting at some point in the future, but trying to be practical. If I can get a job, I will likely be working in person 40+ hours per week and single, which makes me a poor candidate for adoption licensing. As a result, I’ve been looking into other options in far more depth than at other points in my life.
However, I’m not sure if this is just an outlet for me to imagine a family/life where I get some of the reassurance I’m not getting now (or maybe ever). How does one separate projecting current unmet needs on to daydreams and an actual desire to have kids? I’m at the very least 3 years away (probably closer to 5 years away) from actually having a kid, but it might change some of my career choices if I decide that single motherhood is going to be the path for me. That said, I don’t want to make those choices if I’m simply fantasizing rather than setting a real goal.