Scarleteen

I can't tell if I've ever liked someone romantically. I'm 14 (ftm), so I still have time to figure that out (unless the political climate gets worse for trans folks, luckily I'm stealth atm but i digress) but I want to know, I guess.
The closest I've come to liking someone was my best friend I'm gonna call A. I really like spending time with A, and i tried thinking about us like, dating, and i felt weirded out, and i've thought about that with everyone that i think i might consider, and i feel like weirded out.
The thing is, I want a relationship, in theory.
It's hard for me to tell though because my past ones have been so horrid, with two out of three partners essentially emotionally abusing me.
I guess I just wanted to know

Hi Zayne.mp3!

Deciding when/how/if you'd like a romantic relationship is something you can absolutely explore and grow into. It may seem like your peers have it figured out but 14 is young and you still have lots of growing to do!

I've found a version of a Yes/No/Maybe list, which is typically used for sexual interests, for romantic desires here -- https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/184 ... aybe-list/. May be worth looking for some questions about being in a relationship and see how you feel.

I am so sorry you have been through emotional abuse in the past with partners. Did you want to talk more about that? Those experiences may be impactful on your view of relationships or they may not, but either way we can talk about that here.

A lot of my partners manipulated me, most notably Myro (his online name) who blackmailed me to try to get me to send not so savory pictures (i didnt and i talked to my teacher) and M was just really mean and yelled at me a lot and then lovebombed me.

I am sorry you went through all of that but thankful that you had support from your teacher. You do not deserve to be yelled at or have someone be mean to you ever. These relationships do not sound like they were ever healthy or a good reflection of what true partnership can be.

Did you have a chance to look over the other suggestions from your original question? Were they at all helpful? Do you feel like there was anything else you wanted to chat about?

Yeah, I'm gonna look at them when I get home from school, thank you for all the help!!!

You're welcome! Let us know if you have any further questions