Birth control effectivness

[Nifty.Anon]

I am currently taking a progesterone only mini pill. I take it everyday and never miss it and always take it at the same time or within the hour. Lately my water intake and food intake have been off and I workout a lot so my poo has tend to be way more mushy, sometimes clumpy and a bit watery but never full out watery with no solidity. Can this type of poo cause my pill to be ineffective? What it I happens 1/2 to an hour after taking it? Thanks for your help!
*I also will get these bowel movements generally once a day sometimes twice but that's it, never three times and consecutive super loose stools. But sometimes I'll get one at night and one in the morning

[Heather]

Just like with other contraceptives, while you do need to be concerned about absorption with diarrhea -- and that's a pattern, usually over several days, of very loose or watery stools, not plain old soft stool -- you don't just because you have had softer stool.

But you also noted after your last post that you were going to add condoms to your mix, which is a great call. Assuming you have followed through with that, not only do you now have STI protection your pill can't offer, you also have a highly effective backup method, which means that you just don't need to be concerned about things like this, because even in the event you did have diarrhea that did reduce your pill's effectiveness some, you have another method to make up for that difference.

[Nifty.Anon]

And what if there was a day where we didn't use a condome and I had one time with the clumpy loose stool that was sort of watery but not fully and it was half an hour or so after taking my pill? Is it just when you have watery diarrhea for more than one time a day that it's ineffective?

[Heather]

Well, since you made clear you really want and need condoms to feel comfortable having this kind of sex, I'd say maybe we could stand to talk together to figure out how you can always get that need met with your partner, okay? This shouldn't be that hard, so if it is, there's probably an easy fix in there somewhere.

Again, diarrhea, by definition, is a PATTERN of very loose stools, not a one-time deal. That pattern is when people need to figure they should probably be using a backup method, even if, unlike you, they do otherwise feel comfortable using just the one.

[Nifty.Anon]

Well, my boyfriend says he can't pull out so he always eliminates that and he we did try condomes but it wasn't good because be wasn't having a good time at all because be couldn't feel anything. So I'm at a loss with what I should do but you're right that I have bad anxiety and need that second birth control method

And ok that makes sense! That you for that clarification maybe Im just overly worrying now, my period is just two days late so I was thinking of all the things that could have gone wrong since I never throw up and I take my pill perfectly

[Heather]

Okay, so it sounds like you two need help learning to use a condoms in a way that they feel good. Would you like me to share some tips with you around that?

(Mind, I assure you, no one wearing any condom of any kind, or using them in any way is feeling NOTHING. So, it also sounds like maybe we should also talk about how to talk to your boyfriend about working with you on this, and about him learning to communicate with you about this with maturity and honesty, rather than going to hyperbole with things like this, especially since he's not the one who can get pregnant here, you are.)

[Nifty.Anon]

Yes! That would really help me a lot actually! Because I sacrifice by taking this birth control and taking it perfectly to keep myself safe and he doesn't seem to want to do any of the Second back up methods that he can do to keep it extra safe no matter when I talk with him about it :/ so help would be so appreciative, thank you:)

[Heather]

What has happened when you have set clear, hard limits?

As in, "I need condoms to be used in order to be okay having this kind of sex. If you do not want to use them, that is okay, but then this kind of sex is also off the table for me, and that also needs to be okay."

[Nifty.Anon]

I guess I need to not be so scared to say it that bluntly and matter of factly. I'll need to say something more like that because usually he sways me and I know that isn't healthy and shouldn't happen. He does give the option for pulling out but only if I finish him in other ways afterward so he's not, I guess, left hanging? for lack of a better term. Is that an unhealthy thing to be saying to your girlfriend? Or is it selfish of me to not always want to do that?

Also, when you say pattern for the diarrhea to be affecting the birth control, could having loose watery ish stool one time a day and then have it again the next day be considered a pattern or would it have to be like three times a day each day and super watery to where things arnt absorbing in my body?

[Heather]

So, your nest step then is to set that limit. And if you're with someone who won't allow you your own limits, especially with things that put you at risk of things he's not himself, then it's time to get away from that person, not stay with them just doing what they want.

You know you need condoms to feel okay about this. There's no point in talking alternatives, especially since most people will simply put a condom on without making a big fuss.