Help??

[Qtmamacita]

Ok so I had sex both unprotected n protected with a guy on march 15. On march 18 me n my bf got back together and was having sex like crazy. On march 28 I got my period. At the end of April I started getting cramping but no period and I took a test n it said I was pregnant. There's no way the other guy could be the father if the last time we had sex was march 15 right? On April 26 the doctor said I was almost 5 weeks pregnant

[Heather]

Healthcare providers can date fetuses with quite a lot of accuracy, because their size really does not vary much at all from fetus to fetus when it comes to how big a fetus is in utero.

So, given that information from your doctor and the timing of your period, it seems very clear this was about the sex with your boyfriend.

Do you need any help when it comes to making any choices with this pregnancy or needing any help or resource connections?

[Qtmamacita]

Thank u for answering me so fast. I do want to keep the baby only if it's my bf's. If u are telling me that there's no way I could be pregnant from the other guy then I definitely want to keep it.. I kno I'm young but I spoke to my mom and my bf and we decided it's what we want. In my mind I know the dates add up that it has to be my bf's I just feel guilty I guess for sleeping with the other guy.

[Heather]

We are supportive of any of the choices someone can make with an unplanned pregnancy here, including choosing to stay pregnant and parent.

I really cannot say "no way," because ultimately, that is outside my pay grade. Only paternity tests can say for sure, but again, the alternative sounds awfully unlikely. And I would personally suggest you make your choice about what you want to do with this pregnancy mostly about you and a possible kid, and how able and willing you feel to go through a pregnancy and delivery and then be a parent for the rest of your life, rather than about who the biological father is.

However, it sounds like the real issue here is that you have not told your boyfriend about this other guy? If not, why not just be honest about that and get it off your chest? It does not even sound like you and your boyfriend were together then, right?

[Qtmamacita]

I have told my bf. At first he was worried it wasn't his also but after I explained the dates and everything and he went to the doctor appointment with me he feels much better. We have had issues in the past but we are working through them. I only care about who the father is because I know my bf will be in the baby's life no matter what happens btwn us and that's all I want. I grew up without a dad and I don't want that for my kid. The other guy was just a one night kind of thing. And I don't want any kind of connection with him

[Heather]

Here's the cool part: even if the situation WERE different, it's not like your boyfriend could not choose to be the person who you co-parent with.

Again, sounds like it's quite clear he also is the biological parent, but as you know all too well, who the actual parent is -- who actually shows up and stays to actively parent -- is what matters WAY more than who the biological parent is.

If you are leaning towards staying pregnant and parenting, did your doctor already get you connected with financial and support resources like the WIC program (assuming your mother isn't in the position to pay all the many $$$$$ costs of your pregnancy and early parenting)?

[Heather]

Oh, also! because you're in NY, this may be of interest to you: http://www.doulaproject.org/

Doulas are so fantastic, and especially when you're so young, having an educated and dedicated advocate like that, for both the physical and emotional parts of your pregnancy, may come in very, very handy.

[Qtmamacita]

Wow, you're right.. I never thought about that. I never even thought about that as an option bc I never had a father figure, only my mom. She never even dates so I grew up thinking if your biological dad isn't there then no man is there.. Thank u for that perspective. And yes, I am signing up for wic.

I just came across this place less than an hour ago and you have made me feel so much better already! Thank u for that!

[Heather]

Glad to be of help. Please know that whatever choice or choices you make with this pregnancy, if you need an ear or some support, we're happy to be there for you.