Scarleteen

Hello My counselor mentioned to me that I could possibly be asexual. I will describe my sexual feelings. I do not want to have sex, in face the idea of having sex with anyone grosses me out. Its icky, yuck. Im a 20 year old male, Ive never had sex. But I do get sexualy aroused and I do masterbate. In fact I masterbate often, usally with porn or sexting. For me , i can watch porn and think its sexy, and masterbate. But for example, If i were put in the same room as that person I would be grossed out and very uncomfortable. I do find some girls look sexy or pretty, But i would never want to have sex with them. I think for me, I am attracted more to peoples personalities than their body. I do think that sex should be saved untill marrige. I am just confused because, I masterbate alot, view porn or sext people, yet the thought of having sexy with any girl, even a girl of my choice , grosses me out very much. I am attracted to girls and I dont have any feelings for men. Although, If a girl had a dick instead of a pussy, that would be sexy, but thats a very weird thought. I am so confused. please let me know if you want me to clarify anything or if you could point to some answers.

Hi jcon,

So, first off, the only person who can ultimately decide how to label your sexual attraction (or lack thereof) is you. We can only offer some things to think about. If you find that asexual seems to describe the way you feel, then that's now you get to identify. Have you done much reading on asexuality and the definitions and experiences of people who ID that way? Because your feelings do mirror those of some asexual folks (although not all of them, as there is no universal ace experience).

I will also mention that, when you come from a background that encourages things like saving sex for marriage, that can come with a lot of messages that make sex (as in the actual act) seem repulsive or bad to people. So, I wouldn't discount that as a possible factor as well.