First Time Worries

[Spacegirl]

I've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are really happy together. We never forced ourselves into intercourse because he knew I didn't feel ready and would rather wait for a while. Recently we have discussed it a lot and I felt ready to try to have sex so we did. He knew to take it slow and we did everything we could to make it easier like foreplay, oral, condoms and lube. When we actually tried to have sex though I felt really uncomfortable and it started to become unbearably sore so we stopped. I started crying from the pain but there was no bleeding so I'm not sure what happened. I'm scared that now that I've had this experience, I'll start to associate sex with pain and never feel comfortable with it. I've never felt pain like this although when inserting a finger inside of me I feel uncomfortable but very rarely do I feel uncomfortable with tampons.

Really don't know what's going on and I'm scared to see a doctor because I can't go without my mum knowing which I wouldn't feel comfortable with.

[Sam W]

Hi Spacegirl,

I'm glad to hear that you and your boyfriend have been communicating openly about your feelings around this. When we're new to sex, pain or discomfort is often linked to nerves (even if you are into the idea, you can still be nervous about trying it for the first time). If you haven't yet, I suggest reading this article and seeing if anything jumps out at you:
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

Also, if you're starting to be sexually active, it is sound to find an OBGYN to visit. As you start to get older, it's good to check in with one anyway, so going does not have to immediately signal to your parent that you're sexually active.

[Spacegirl]

Thank you, gave that a read and it's helped a bit. I think I'll try seeing a doctor or nurse but it's just a scary process to actually go, I'll give it a try anyway. Thanks!