Scarleteen

I realized over the summer that I am (was?) bisexual although, over the past 24 hours I've come to the realization that I'm actually pansexual. I feel bad because I feel like I lied to my friends about this. Should I keep using bisexual? Are they interchangeable? How should I go about reinforming people? How should I explain pansexual to them?

Hi adipose,

Try not to feel bad about somehow lying to your friends about your identity. You were telling them what you felt you were at the time. Learning our sexual orientation can be a process for some people, so your friends will most likely understand when you say "actually, I think this describes me best." As for how to let people know, that's up to your and what you feel comfortable with. It might help to directly tell some people ("so, I've been thinking, and I am starting to realize that pansexual best describes me") and for others letting the topic come up organically may work best. You don't necessarily have to worry about giving them a perfect definition of pansexuality either. It might work best to focus on how you feel, and how you interpret those feelings, rather than on the overall definition.

As for whether or not pan and bi are interchangeable, I've generally only seen people identify as one or the other. However, there is a lot of debate and discussion in the bi and pan communities about how each of those identities are defined and how they relate to each other, so you might find it helps to read some discussions of that type.