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Changing habits that are messing you up

If it doesn't seem to fit anywhere else, this is probably the place for it.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Changing habits that are messing you up

Unread post by Heather »

I opened this one with one habit particularly in mind: we see a lot of users who are in the habit of using the internet in certain ways, or at certain places, that make them feel freaked out or uncomfortable, rather than being enriching or helpful.

But really, anything we get in the habit of can be challenging to change, and if you're young, the whole business of finding you have habits and learning to change them is probably pretty new to you. It's also a lot harder to change habits when they're things we only do in secret or alone, so we aren't asking the people around us for help.

Need some help getting out of the habit of something crappy for you?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
TheConfusedOne
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Re: Changing habits that are messing you up

Unread post by TheConfusedOne »

I have a habit I'd like to change, but I'm not sure I want to talk about it publicly... I don't really trust my doctor or anyone around me. Never told anyone about it before, but apparently, it's a pretty common addiction. I really really need to talk to someone about it though, and I really do need to stop before my life is seriously ruined. Is there a way for me to talk about it with you privately?
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Changing habits that are messing you up

Unread post by Heather »

For users who want private, one-on-one discussions with any of our staff or volunteers, they can use our live chat service. You can find out more about it and our other direct services here: http://www.scarleteen.com/need_help_now ... t_services

That said, we make clear on that page that we need use of our direct services to stick to the kind of work we can capably or practically do, and help with addiction or compulsion is not one of those things. That's help to seek out from a mental healthcare provider.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
TheConfusedOne
not a newbie
Posts: 93
Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 9:23 am
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm A Rider. Nuff Said.
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Location: Michigan, US

Re: Changing habits that are messing you up

Unread post by TheConfusedOne »

Ah, unfortunately, I'm in a timezone where your live chats are online when I'm asleep. I have tried several times, keeping awake to catch your live chat, but by 1am (for me, 10am for PST), I'm way too drowsy to say much more than "Hi".

What advices would you give though, to improve and work towards stopping a habit?
Karyn
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Re: Changing habits that are messing you up

Unread post by Karyn »

I don't know what advice Heather would give for breaking habits, or if she had specific resources in mind when she made this thread so I'll leave that to her. But again, if you are talking about an addiction or a compulsion here, rather than just a habit (particularly if it has the potential to 'ruin your life'), then that's not something we are capable of helping with: it's something to talk to a mental health professional about.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
TheConfusedOne
not a newbie
Posts: 93
Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 9:23 am
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm A Rider. Nuff Said.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
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Location: Michigan, US

Re: Changing habits that are messing you up

Unread post by TheConfusedOne »

I honestly no longer know if it's an addiction or compulsion. I know it is repeated often enough to be considered a habit. I'm just saying that from what I've read, others have treated it as an addiction. I don't know if it would ruin my life, though there have been many stories about it ruining others' lives. I'm just suspecting that if I get caught, if someone finds out that I have this habit, they'd view me differently. Much like a very hardcore type kink/fetish. I also know that this habit is not really good for my health, but it's not really bad either because it's actually a recommended practice when having other problems. That's pretty much why many who have this "habit", me included, can't seem to find any advice on dealing with it besides "See a doctor, he'd tell you what to do". Theres no other information about it, no name for it, nothing. It's like an event that no one knows exists, yet it does...

I'm sure it would be better if I talked to a doctor about it, but for now, that's not possible, not if I want absolute privacy. I was actually thinking of just waiting a couple more years until I can actually go to a doctor, when I saw this thread and thought to give it a try.
Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1407
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:00 pm
Age: 40
Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Canada

Re: Changing habits that are messing you up

Unread post by Karyn »

Thanks for clarifying. For sure, if it is just a habit, then Heather or another staff member/volunteer may have some suggestions.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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