Scarleteen

Posted originally by catalinacisne on the old boards here:

"I was wondering if people would be interested in sharing their coming out stories, if they have any.

Although I didn't figure out I was bi until the summer before my senior year, I was never really 'in the closet'. I feel that sexual orientation is a very personal thing, and that you shouldn't have to go around saying, "Hello, I'm Bob, nice to meet you. By the by, I'm gay." or whathaveyou. If people asked me my sexual orientation, I would be honest. If someone told me their sexual orientation, I would reciprocate. But there was no gathering of my close friends and family, no sitting them down, and no big announcement. I hadn't changed as a person, so I wasn't going to act like something had changed.

The only person I actually 'came out' to is my dad... This past National Coming Out Day, after participating in all my college's activities, I felt like a huge hypocrit. So I wrote him an e-mail (he was on a 9-month-long business trip in China, so I couldn't call him), and he wrote back, completely fine with it.

So that's my story of sorts. What's your's?"

I'm boosting this post, since we just had coming out day, and folks may have thoughts, stories, or advice they'd like to share.

Before I was comfortable coming out as gender fluid, I told my mom that I was into, and had had a relationship with, the same sex. I did not get the outcome I had hoped for. She promised she stilled loved me, but could I try to be a little less gay? Just try?

No mom, I can't.

I came out to my sister ages ago, and even now, she knows almost everything about my interests and goings on. She doesn't like my partner's appearance or general shyness and awkwardness, but she is very supportive and loving. Yay!

I kinda sat in the mall with her once, people watching, and she was commenting on boys with cute butts. I myself kinda just cleared my throat and pointed out all the butts I liked, regardless of gender. That, my friends, is how I came out. Hurray for butts!

Mine is... a little weird. I had a secret Wattpad account, in which I stated in my bio I was pansexual, and dating (name of my gf here). My parents just so happened to find my account, and when my mom was driving me home from the football game in Fargo my school's pep band played at (I was an avid pep band member at the time), and my mom goes "So when are you going to come out?" At first, I was confused, but then I realized what she meant, and I got super embarrassed. Well, that's how my parents found out.

So I've only come out to a few people. The first person I officially came out to was the straight girl I of course developed unrequited feelings for. We were texting and her reply was "that's so sick, I thought we were always just friends". I backpedaled and kept that greuling friendship going for yeaaaaars. I accidentally came out to my mom while we were talking on the phone. I offhandedly mentioned I was BI but of course, I'd turn out to be pansexual because of course I was still in the middle of figuring myself out. :/ ANYWAY she is trying really hard. I also came out point-blank to my highschool friends because I wasn't scared because I'll probably never see them again. I'm not out to my dad, sister, or brother.

I don't really consider myself to have much of one. I just sort of told my close friends casually to positive reactions, and don't feel the need to tell my parents since I know they wouldn't care either way

Mine is hilariously anticlimactic. The only person I've come out to as pan/fluid was my mom (mostly because I'm really private about that irl and no relationships yet). She was supportive but totally confused. She actually asked me if pansexuality had something to do with pans! And that was the last time I talked about to someone who was not on the internet, and I'm almost sure she forgot!

Moral: unless you are in a romantic/physical relationship, you don't really need to tell anyone if you don't want to. Also, describe your orientation/gender before giving the term if you don't think that person will know what you're talking about.

I'm still not completely out, but...
I first starting coming out by just texting people I'm gay and leaving at it that. Then, I moved into hey I'm gay, hope that's okay. I've only outwardly said I'm gay to one person, and I've said I've got a crush on a girl to a few people. Pretty boring.

update: I came out to my parents on the same day I told them about my partner and they accept me wholeheartedly!