Scarleteen Holidays: Our direct services, including these message boards will be closed Christmas Day (12/25), 1st day of Hanukkah (12/26), and New Year’s Day (1/1).

stressed about pregnancy

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
confused123
not a newbie
Posts: 50
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 5:36 pm
Age: 26
Location: Canada

stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by confused123 »

when people use condoms correctly, how do they become pregnant? I asked before where the 2% failure rate for condoms (when used correctly) comes from and a member of the Scarleteen staff told me that even if directions are followed to a T, condoms can still break, leak, etc. However, I've heard about people who claim they did everything right and used the condom correctly and said there was no breakage, leakage or whatnot. I'm very confused and stressed out trying to figure out how this could be, I haven't found a clear answer yet and was hoping someone could help me out
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9732
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by Heather »

We've got a few different threads on the boards where I have talked about this (please be sure and search before posting, in the case you aren't).

Long story short:
1) A lot of people don't know how to use condoms properly and what that means, like that storage matters, or that a condom being on for ALL contact matters.
2) Some people do not feel they can be honest about how pregnancy has happened, like feeling like if they say they didn't use condoms (or other contraception) or didn't do so properly, they won't be supported, will be judged, or in certain situations, will be unsafe.
3) Anytime, with anything, we're in a "well, my cousin told me about this person their friend knows," or you're otherwise hearing secondhand about others, you have to know that's just stuff to dismiss, not pay attention to. Passed around and around just isn't a way things start or stay factual.

The effectiveness statistics we have for condoms and other methods come from broad studies of thousands and thousands of people. So, you can not only trust those, but those are far more reliable than what you may hear from -- or even second or third-hand -- one or two people anecdotally. What we say here about effectiveness is based in sound, broad study and fact from credible healthcare sources, not anecdotes.

If you feel stressed about condom use by itself to prevent pregnancy, then what you want to do is look into a second method to use with them, not get invested in these kinds of stories.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
confused123
not a newbie
Posts: 50
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 5:36 pm
Age: 26
Location: Canada

Re: stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by confused123 »

I'm sorry, I tried looking through some threads and didn't find anything that related to this topic. Thank you for the info. What i was trying to find out was if it is true that condoms have "microscopic holes" that allow sperm to pass through ? also, if they are used correctly, can they still fail without the user knowing?

I'm sorry again, If there is an existing thread that answers my questions please link me to it so you don't have to go through the trouble of re-explaining
Johanna
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 574
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:40 am
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: San Francisco

Re: stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by Johanna »

Here is our info on condoms, which should also answer your questions:
Condom Basics: A User's Manual
All the Barriers! All the Time!
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9732
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by Heather »

And no, there are not holes in condoms that allow sperm cells or pathogens to pass through. That's knowingly false information that abstinence-only groups have spread around to try and scare people out of sex.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
confused123
not a newbie
Posts: 50
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 5:36 pm
Age: 26
Location: Canada

Re: stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by confused123 »

I read through both articles and I didnt find the answers I was looking for
confused123
not a newbie
Posts: 50
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 5:36 pm
Age: 26
Location: Canada

Re: stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by confused123 »

I didn't see the second response about the holes, thank you for cleaning that up. Could you please answer my other question for me
Johanna
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 574
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:40 am
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: San Francisco

Re: stressed about pregnancy

Unread post by Johanna »

Condoms may still fail, even when used correctly. However, a failure is noticeable - when a condom fails, it bursts like a balloon.
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post