Scarleteen

Hello,

Just over a week ago I had casual sex, which I am not proud of. This was after too much to drink. Unfortunately, I cannot remember much, but I do remember asking him to put a condom on. This is what I remember...
I remember he put a condom on before penetration, I remember he put his fingers inside me and I remember he ejaculated on my body, away from my vagina. I cannot remember when he took the condom off.
I've spoken to him and he said yes, we used a condom and practiced safe sex. If he put his fingers inside me after he took his condom off and had some pre ejaculate fluid on them, could I be at risk. Because I wasn't sure exactly what happened, I took the morning after pill approximately 36 hours afterwards.

I've had an ectopic pregnancy before and I'm worried sick I'm going to get pregnant. What is the level of risk we are talking about here?

Thanks,
Amy

Assuming he did keep a condom on at all times during intercourse, your risk would be quite low; even if he had fluids on his fingers that wouldn't be a risk, and it sounds like he ejaculated well away from your vagina. If he did take the condom off during intercourse, there is a bit more of a risk, but without him ejaculating in you the risk is still on the low end. Since you've taken Plan B there's really nothing to do but wait until you can take a pregnancy test (most are reliable once it's been two weeks since a risk).

Do you feel like this is something you were able to fully discuss and consent to, given that it sounds like you were very drunk and not fully aware of the situation? Did you feel coerced by this guy or not in control of what was happening?

I think he took advantage a bit but it's fair to say I was looking for attention when I went out.

I do have a partner but we don't have regular sex. Four times a year maybe. Something inside of me just snapped.
The same thing happened when I fell pregnant before and he forgave me. I promised myself id never do it again but I guess my sex drive is too strong and my will too weak.

I'm terrified of being pregnant.

Amy

As Mo said, at this point you just have to wait until you can take a pregnancy test. Doing some self-care in the interim can help make the wait less stressful: Self-Care a La Carte

Even if you were "looking for attention?" Not an excuse for someone to engage in sexual behavior with you without your full consent.

I think it's time for a serious talk with your current partner. It sounds like neither of you is getting what they need from this relationship, and you two need to discuss some of the issues that have come up. For instance, it's clear that you're not feeling sexually satisfied in the current dynamic. If you've agreed to be monogamous, he probably doesn't feel great that you've violated that boundary. Would like some help working out how to approach a conversation with him?

Thank you for the link. I have recently been introduced to mindfulness which really helps me.

Yes I'd like advice about that but I'd like to find out the outcome of this scare is first.

If the condom was used throughout and I took the map but it was right bang in the middle of my cycle, is it still low risk?

You're welcome

Okay, sounds good. Let us know when you'd like the info to get you started.

Yep, it's still low risk no matter where you were in your cycle.

Hi,

I got a bit of blood on friday which looked congealed. On Saturday - the day I was due kn - I had what I think was my period. There was a lot of blood in my urine more than on the pad. Sunday it was period like and today not much at all. My period is usually short like this.

Is this definitely my period do you think and if so do I need to still take a pregnancy test?

Thanks

Hi Willow,

If you've had what looked, felt, and came at the same time as your period, then you can assume that was your period, and that, by extension you're not pregnant. However, if you're still feeling like you need confirmation , taking a pregnancy test is something you can do to get that confirmation.