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Painful intercourse
Painful intercourse
I am 19 years old and my boyfriend and I have been going out for a few years. We do not have sex often, but when we do he is on top and it only hurts a little at first then after that everything is fine. Recently I decided to go on top and it was very painful I had to stop and go back to him on top, and it was fine again. Any ideas what the pain could be? I am seeing my gyno in a few weeks and will bring it up to her. Thanks!
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
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- Location: Chicago
Re: Painful intercourse
Welcome to the boards, Edie1212. 
Can you fill me in on what you are already doing (or not doing) with this? For instance, are you (or are you not), already:
• Using lubricant right from the start, then adding as needed?
• Only engaging in intercourse after you are already HELLA turned on and excited from doing other sexual or sensual things?
• Only having intercourse, specifically, when you, yourself, are feeling a strong desire for that activity?
• Talking with your partner when things hurt, then working together to make adjustments -- to try different things like more lube, more of other activities first, changing angles or trying different positions, etc?
Also: are you having any of the pain you are with intercourse with anything else, be that other sexual activities -- like masturbation or oral sex -- or at any other time in your life?
Can you fill me in on what you are already doing (or not doing) with this? For instance, are you (or are you not), already:
• Using lubricant right from the start, then adding as needed?
• Only engaging in intercourse after you are already HELLA turned on and excited from doing other sexual or sensual things?
• Only having intercourse, specifically, when you, yourself, are feeling a strong desire for that activity?
• Talking with your partner when things hurt, then working together to make adjustments -- to try different things like more lube, more of other activities first, changing angles or trying different positions, etc?
Also: are you having any of the pain you are with intercourse with anything else, be that other sexual activities -- like masturbation or oral sex -- or at any other time in your life?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Re: Painful intercourse
Thanks for replying! We have never used lube, and foreplay was not that long. Also we do communicate about it, and I have no pain with other sexual acts.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9732
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Painful intercourse
Okay, so two biggies are missing: lube - a must! - and also taking PLENTY of time engaging in other activities that get you very turned on before intercourse.
How about you talk with your partner about those things, and then the next time or two, you both try them, and see if that helps?
How about you talk with your partner about those things, and then the next time or two, you both try them, and see if that helps?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Re: Painful intercourse
Thanks so much!
Have a good day!
Have a good day!
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9732
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Painful intercourse
Sure thing! Need any help with having that discussion, or feel like it'll be pretty easy for you?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Re: Painful intercourse
I feel it'll be pretty easy!