Scarleteen

so, to cut to the chase-- one of my best friends recently made it known to me and some other folks that a few months ago she was diagnosed with leukemia... and as if that isn't terrifying enough, she's also HIV-positive as well (which I've known about for years) and I have no clue how her health condition in that respect will work with her chemotherapy treatments she's just started.

I just..... i just love her so much, and i'm absolutely terrified for her, and i wish i could tell her everything's gonna be okay and know that 100% for certain... but obviously i can't know that. and all i've been able to do is just offer to continue being her cuddle buddy and have her come over my place whenever she feels the need to, but idk if that's even enough.

I just don't know what to do and i'm really scared and i don't want her to see how afraid i am because she's already scared enough herself and i feel like i need to be strong for her... and yeah, that's basically what i'm dealing with at the moment and i just had to tell someone

I couldn't be more sorry to hear this.

I assume she is all hooked up with healthcare and some mental health support?

It's always hard when people we love get very ill, but I feel like it's especially hard when it happens to someone young when we're young, because it's just not usually something anyone even thinks to be emotionally prepared for.

yeah, i'm fairly certain she's good healthcare-wise, but i actually haven't asked about what mental health support she's got going on or not. i should probably check in with her about that.

i know, it was really unexpected...... yeah, when i think of illnesses, i tend to automatically think of people who are much older and not in my age-range at all (even though i know logically that doesn't make any sense). it's just been really tough to deal with, but i also can't even begin to imagine how much scarier it must be for her...

I hear you.

One thing you might ask her to ask her doctors about is for a referral to support groups. That could be something you offer to go with her for -- especially if they have something that is also for friends and family -- so that you both can get some extra support, and you can also offer her the kind of solidarity you want to.

I'm also glad to listen if you want to talk more.

yeah, that sounds like a really good idea. I'll def bring it up with her.

thanks, I'll probably have more of a chance to talk after I get out of work for the day :/

okay I'm back! I mean.... I don't really have many other things to say except how much I wish this wasn't happening and how other things that I worry about seem so trivial in comparison, you know? it's also just scary not knowing how much time we have left together. like, I'm tearing up right now just thinking about how little I know about the future here...

I get it. Maybe, for both of you, planning some special time together would be a good thing? How about even seeing if you can do something big together you have always wanted to do?

we actually just had a sleepover that we planned on pretty short-notice, and that was definitely necessary. I'm gonna ask her what kind of big thing she thinks we could do together (we both really like to travel so it'll probably be something along those lines).

Perfect!

Would you like any reading about coping when a loved one is seriously ill? If so, I can build you a little book list later today or tomorrow.

yes, please! that'd be really awesome, thanks Heather